Tuesday, June 6, 2023

June is PRIDE Month!

And if ever there was a time when the LGBT community needs recognition and support, it would be now.

More and more Republican-controlled statehouses across the nation, heady with power, have drunk from the Fountain of Eternal Hate and are enacting legislation targeting LGBTQ rights, cutting off resources to trans youth, and even limiting where drag shows can be performed (if at all). 

This creates a hostile environment for a demographic already at risk.

Emboldened by the former president and by the pronouncements and actions of several juvenile elected representatives, frothy-mouthed Republicans have taken it upon themselves to enforce the hatred.

Back in March, Bud Light struck a sponsorship deal with Dylan Mulvaney, a tik-toc “influencer”. 

The Captain had never heard of Mulvaney until this controversy arose, but others had. It seemed like a sure thing for Bud Light, since Mulvaney has 1.2 million followers on social media. The problem is, Mulvaney is a trans person.

When Mulvaney announced the deal with Bud Light on her show on April 1st, outrage followed and the sale of Bud Light in America plummeted. 

Captain’s Note: Sale of Bud Light around the world was unphased, resulting in only a 1% loss in sales overall.

Kid Rock launched a video in which he shoots several cases of Bud Light with his gun.

Dude, you already paid for those!

Country singer Travis Tritt announced he would not sell Budweiser products at his concerts anymore.

Good luck finding another drinkable beer brand not owned by AB-InBev.

And Senator Ted Cruz has called for a Senate investigation, suggesting that through Mulvaney the company is trying to market beer to minors. 

There have also been reports of bomb threats at several Bud Light locations.  

Due to the controversy, which has yet to let up, Bud Light’s parent company has experienced a 20% drop in stock value. 

Captain’s Note: Buy low, sell high!

Meanwhile the sale of Molson (gag!), Coors Light, and Miller Light are surging.

And suspiciously, right before the controversy began, rich guy Bill Gates bought a 3.76% stake in Heineken.  

The Captain is left scratching his balding scalp.

Who knew that Republicans drank so much beer!

Then came the next controversy.

To promote Pride Month, Target set up special displays with merchandise touting “Pride”. 

Again, frothy-mouthed customers began complaining, some even getting aggressive/violent toward Target employees – employees who have absolutely no say in what merchandise the corporation wants to sell.

Reportedly for the sake of its employees, Target pulled the promotion from all of its stores.

And Target stock has fallen by 16%.

But here is the worst of all. Chick-fil-A.

Once the darling of the Religious Right, this overtly Christian fast-food chain was recently found to employ a VP of DE&I. 

Erick McReynolds

That would be “Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion”.

Most companies have such positions, if only for show.

The odd part of this is, Erick McReynolds has held this position at the Chick since 2020.

In fact, the company states clearly and openly on its website that  

“Chick-fil-A restaurants have long been recognized as a place where people know they will be treated well. Modeling care for others starts in the restaurant, and we are committed to ensuring mutual respect, understanding and dignity everywhere we do business. These tenets are good business practice and crucial to fulfilling our Corporate Purpose.”

But suddenly conservative Christian social media influencers have lost their fuckin’ minds and are crying that CFA is “no longer the Lord’s chicken!”

So why has the Right turned against one of its own?

It’s not like CFA is celebrating Pride month.

Or painting its chicken sandwiches in rainbow colors.

The only rainbow the Chick cares about is the one from the Old Testament fable about the Flood.

Although, the Captain does find it comforting to be reminded that God will never again flood the entire world!

But this departure must have S. Truett Cathy spinning in his grave!

The Captain is likewise puzzled. Wouldn’t you think that the fair treatment and full participation of all people would be a Christian virtue?

Captain’s Note: Jesus was “woke”. Read the Bible if you don’t believe me.

Apparently not so in today’s politically-charged and polarized climate.

Now lean in here, mates.

Funny thing about mobs.

Once these things get rolling, they are very hard to stop.

And often times there comes with it collateral damage.

CFA just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

But then, Target was just trying to make a buck off its LGBTQ customers.

Yes, my LGBTQ friends, you are being used.

And Bud Light was just looking for a cheap and easy way to reach 1.2 million people on social media.

As for all those politicians working against the LGBTQ community, they are simply trying to keep their base stirred up because they have nothing else of value to offer them.

Only anger.

Blind anger.

And today, anger generates votes.

And cash donations.

But mates, let’s pause for just a minute. Take a breath. And think.

If we were to boycott every business with which we disagree, the Captain suspects we would soon run out of places to shop and eat.

We would not be on social media of any sort, as it is home to all manner of unsavory individuals.

In fact, since the internet itself is replete with all manner of sordid material (more than 4% of global websites are classified as porn), we should probably stop using that too.

Why do people have to make such a big deal about everything today? 

A recent Gallup poll found that only around 7% of America self-identifies at LGB or T.

 Why does that scare some people?

Here’s a final word of advice from yer Captain: