I’ve presided at five funerals since June 9th, four of which were for active church members. It has been both physically and emotionally draining.
I’m not writing to whine about my busy schedule though. These things come and go. In my 20+ years of full-time ministry, I’ve had plenty of weeks when very little happened.
But Friday’s funeral brought up a long-held pet peeve of mine, and that I do want to gripe about.
The church member we memorialized on Friday had enlisted and honorably served his country in the U.S. Marine Corps back in the late 50s.
His widow wanted the traditional military honors – a flag-draped coffin, a Marine Honor Guard, the playing of “Taps”, a crisply-folded flag presented to the widow at the conclusion of the service, and the words: “On behalf of the President of the United States, the Commandant of the Marine Corps, and a grateful nation, please accept this flag as a symbol of our appreciation for your loved one's service to Country and Corps.”
As some of you who read this blog may know, I am not the most patriotic person. My first allegiance is to the Kingdom of God; all else comes second. But I do love my country and I do respect the flag.
Okay, at least at baseball games I stand and remove my hat as the National Anthem is sung.
But let’s talk about patriotism for a moment. Last year over Memorial weekend, I noticed an American flag flying on a short pole in my neighbor’s yard. Oddly, the neighbor was out of town all weekend. I also noticed the flag was left out all night and not properly lighted according to protocol. I thought about saying something to my neighbor – along the lines of, “If you’re going to be patriotic, do it right!”
A week later, I saw a Boy Scout come by the house, pull up the flag pole and drive off. It turns out, the Boy Scouts were providing the flags, presumably upon request, but apparently hadn’t studied the finer points of flag etiquette.
(You can read some of my other thoughts on patriotism here and here. And especially here.)
At the funeral on Friday, the coffin was draped with the American flag, the official 5’ X 9.5’ drape. The 4-member USMC Honor Guard arrived an hour before the service. They looked very sharp in their dress uniforms. We went over the order of service. Everyone knew what to do.
At the appropriate time, I heard the tinny sound of the pre-recorded playing of “Taps” (good buglers are hard to find!), and two of the Honor Guard walked with a dignified cadence to the casket. I started to choke up; it’s a very moving part of the service.
They set about the ceremonial 13-fold procedure for folding the flag. But when they came to the end, there was not enough fabric to make the tuck… only the white strip of canvas with the grommets.‘On behalf of the President of the United States, the Commandant of the Marine Corps, and a grateful nation, please accept this wadded up ball of fabric that had once been a crisp, new American flag as a symbol of our appreciation for your loved one's service to Country and Corps.’
This problem is not limited to the Marine Corps. I have done funerals for veterans from every branch of the military, and with only a couple rare exceptions, the flag-folding ceremony has been a major embarrassment.
--At one funeral, the Honor Guard came up with too much fabric at the end; the effort to tuck it all into the triangle looked like two fat people fighting over the last donut in the box!
--At another funeral, a commander of the Honor Guard stood nearby to oversee the folding, and to inspect the flag before presenting it to the widow. The folding went so poorly, he made them unfold it and start over, right there in front of the grieving family and gathered congregation. I noticed the commander was wearing a side arm; I was hoping he would use it!
--And at a couple funerals, I swear the funeral home just found a few street people and put them in wrinkled and ill-fitting uniforms they happened to have in the trunk of the car!
I recently asked a soldier about this problem. He said the role of Honor Guard was rotated through a platoon, so while they were all supposedly “trained”, few were experienced enough to do it right.
Sigh.
Doing a little online research, I came across a video made by a husband-and-wife team who run a small flag shop. The husband claimed that this video would demonstrate how to properly fold the flag. The husband held the union end of the flag. As the camera panned down the length of the flag, it caught the wife holding the other end under her chin as she grasped for fabric to make the first fold.
They, too, ended with extra fabric, which they stuffed into the fold like it was a garbage bag.
Now, I ask you, dear reader: If you were making an informational video designed to be patriotic as well as promote your business, wouldn’t you do enough takes until you got it right?
Deep sigh.
I don’t have the answer to the problem. It just seems to me that if this folded flag is to really show the nation’s appreciation for service rendered, it should be done with all due skill and respect.
I’m just sayin’…
