Friday, February 23, 2024

I Told You So

The Captain was going to write this post a couple months ago, but “things” got busy in my world.

You know how that goes, right mates?

But now “things” have gotten worse, so here it is.

This past Sunday, the Chief Justice of the Alabama Supreme Court released a ruling concerning the accidental destruction of frozen embryos.

Captain’s Note: The Chief Justice will remain nameless here because, due to Banana Winds policy, we neither celebrate nor publish the names or likenesses of criminals.

Somehow a patient at the Center for Reproductive Medicine at Mobile Infirmary was able to access a freezer, remove some test tubes containing frozen embryos, and drop them on the floor. The embryos were destroyed.

The issue at hand: what recourse do the egg & sperm donors have?

Imagine if you will: here is this young couple who has spent untold time and money in an attempt to have a child. They have been poked and prodded to no end and have finally resorted to in vitro fertilization as the answer to their hopes and dreams.

Now they have to start over.

Even the Captain’s cold dead heart goes out to the couple.

Unfortunately, the State Supreme Court declared the frozen embryos to be classified as “unborn children”, an as yet undefined but protected category in the state Constitution.

As such, the parents-to-be can sue for wrongful death of a minor.

The Chief Justice, writing in support of the ruling, went on to explain the scripture-based rationale: 

All humans are created in the image of God.

Thus all human life is sacred.

“Human life cannot be wrongfully destroyed without incurring the wrath of a holy God,” he wrote.

Not the language one would expect in a legal decision, but there it is.

This theocratic ruling raises all kinds of questions, some serious, others not so much:

-Normally in IVF treatments, multiple embryos are implanted, then reduced to the desired number as they become viable. Will mothers now be expected to carry to term all the implanted embryos? Or will clinics be forced to implant only one at a time?

-If wannabe parents decide not to follow through with IVF, can they be sued for neglect of a "child"?

-What can a fertility clinic do with unused frozen embryos? Will they be required to “babysit” them forever? Whose responsibility will it be to care for these "children"?

-If I carry a frozen embryo in my car, can I drive in the Diamond Lane?

-Does the "child" get a social security number as soon as the sperm is mechanically injected into the egg in a laboratory petri dish? Would that event mark its actual birthdate? 

-Would the "child" qualify for food stamps? Would child support payments begin immediately?

-If the embryo remains frozen for 18 years, can it vote? If for 21 years, can it buy alcohol and cigarettes?

Already, the hospital at UA-B, along with several other clinics, has halted IVF procedures until all this can be sorted out.

Which means the hopes of many young couples has again been delayed, if not dashed.

Captain's Note: Fear not! The state legislature is already rushing to write legislation that removes frozen embryos from the "protected" category. What could possibly go wrong?

While this case isn’t about abortion, the decision has far-reaching implications, not the least of which includes the end to all abortions in Alabama.

Yer Captain saw this coming in June of 2022, following the fall of Roe v Wade, which for 50 years provided federal protection of abortion rights. When the U.S. Supreme Court struck down what many wrongfully believed to be “settled law”, states began writing their own draconian anti-abortion laws.

In July 2022, after the fall of Roe v Wade, I wrote an article for the church newsletter lamenting its demise.

I noted our denomination’s stance on abortion, that while it is not to be utilized as a simple means of birth control or to select the sex of one’s child, it should remain a viable option for women. I named one of several instances in which an abortion becomes a necessary medical procedure to protect the health of the mother.

At the time, Kentucky was one of the most restrictive anti-abortion states. I warned that many states would now be moving toward an absolute ban, which I find unconscionable.

After the publication of that newsletter, a church member took me to task.

“It’s sad when our church can’t celebrate the end of Roe v Wade…”

She assured me there would always be an exception for the health of the mother.


In the last year-and-a-half we have seen a 10-year-old girl in Ohio who was raped by her uncle; she was refused an abortion. She traveled across the state line to Indianapolis to receive the medical care she needed. [The uncle got life in prison.]

Also in Ohio, a woman’s water broke too soon. Knowing an abortion was the only solution, her doctor sent her home instead. She miscarried in her bathroom, attempted to flush the dead fetus down the toilet, and was charged with “abuse of a corpse”.

In Texas, a woman carrying a fetus diagnosed with a fatal condition (which could also affect the health of the mother) was denied an abortion; even the Texas Attorney General got involved, trying to prevent her from leaving the state to get the medical care she needed.

Also in Texas, a man secretly gave his wife a drug to induce a miscarriage. He received 180 days in jail. Had the wife sought an abortion, she could have gone to prison for life. [The child was born prematurely, suffers from developmental delays, and attends therapy eight times a week.]

To date, fourteen states have enacted laws that virtually ban all abortions, usually targeting either the mother or her physician.

You know the Captain hates to say “I told you so”, but…

Well, I did. I did tell you so.

Now we have this state Supreme Court justice declaring frozen embryos are protected.

This ruling will effectively spell the end to abortions. And to in vitro fertilization.  

At least in Alabama.

But it won’t end there. Other state legislatures are watching.


Because “all human life is sacred”.

In other news, on Monday Alabama’s Attorney General asked that same State Supreme Court to set a date for the execution of a second death row inmate by nitrogen gas.

We will soon find out if all human life really is sacred in Alabama.

Folks in Alabama might want to prepare for the wrath of a holy God, just in case.


Wednesday, February 7, 2024

Someone Is Watching You

The Captain was surfing Facebook over the weekend and came across some stories of prurient interest.

In the first one, an online fashion magazine reported on the Shiaparelli’s Haute Couture Show held in Paris on January 22nd. The headline blared:

“J-Lo Forgets to Put on Pants”

Now mates, yer Captain knows this is just click-bait.

I mean, J-Lo is known for wearing tight-fitting leggings and yoga pants in public.

And short skirts...

 And on-stage, well…

But as I was preparing to scroll on past, their ploy worked.

I began to wonder how bad it had to be for this to be the headline.

I decided to first just read the comments. 

To my dismay, the comments section was a steady stream of invectives by people who hadn’t read the article but just wanted to trash J-Lo.

I don’t know what she has done to raise the ire of so many people!

Still curious, the Captain gave in and “clicked”.

And this is what all the sound and fury was about:

Perhaps these tights don’t technically qualify as “pants”, but her body is more covered than usual.

Now mates, leggings, tights, and yoga pants have become a standard clothing item for women of all shapes and sizes.

I could point you back to a blog the Captain wrote several years ago when I noticed this trend.

Captain’s Note: Actually, I can’t. After 17 years of writing these things, I wish now that the Captain had created tags and categories for easy reference.

Here’s the reality: J-Lo can wear whatever J-Lo wants to wear.

And to be honest, she doesn’t look bad for 54!

But now, as then, the Captain only asks that if this is your fashion choice, dear humble reader, you should purchase a full-length mirror.

We don’t all look like J-Lo, now do we?

So before stepping out in public, check yourself out.

Front and back. 

 Especially back!

And ask yourself, “Is this really the look I was going for?”

People will be watching.

And judging.

Maybe you don’t care.

Good for you.

Speaking of watching, the second article I found raised an interesting question.

A woman created an OnlyFans site.

For those of you who don’t know what this is, it is a social media site in which a person can post whatever content they want and charge others to look at it.

For example, the Captain discovered recently that the Facebook site “Fishing with Luiza” also has an OnlyFans site.

Captain’s Note: The above photo is from a Facebook post. One can only imagine what her OnlyFans site offers.

No, I don’t subscribe.

Anyway, the woman in the story created an OnlyFans site and makes money via pay-per-view by granting visual requests, creating sexual fantasies, masturbating, and even broadcasting herself having sex with her boyfriend.


And apparently lucrative.

Then, quite by accident, she discovered that her step-father was her “top fan”!

Just like her other customers, over the course of several months he had made certain requests (which she fulfilled, not knowing who he was), paid his money, and watched her content.

But when she found out his identity, she told her mother and a divorce followed.

Comments (here again I read the comments) largely called the step-father a creep.

After all, he had been Step-Daddy since she was 11 years old.

Note, the woman never implied that Step-Daddy had done anything improper to her when she was a minor.

But now he’s considered creepy.

For watching his now-adult step-daughter have sex.

On a pay site she herself created.

No one in the comments section seemed concerned that the woman was selling homemade x-rated content on the internet.

Here again, the Captain understands: an adult woman is free to do with her body what she wants to do with her body.

But did she ever stop to think about who might be watching?

Not just some faceless stranger half-way around the world.

But possibly:

Her high school principal?

Her gym coach?

A co-worker?

Her boss?

Her next door neighbor?

Her step-father?

And – yer Captain is curious – how exactly did that conversation with her mother go?

“So, Mommy, I’ve created an OnlyFans site in which I grant men’s sexual fantasies and even broadcast graphic sex with my boyfriend for money.”

“That’s nice dear. I’m so proud of you.”

“And, by the way, Step-Daddy is my biggest fan!”


I don't know.

Perhaps Step-Daddy is creepy.

But what did the woman expect when she started putting her [ahem] content out there for all to see? Who did she think would be watching?

Now, being as open-minded as I am, yer Captain stands by a woman’s right to do what she wants with her body, whether it is broadcasting homemade porn or going out in public without pants.

This gives no one the right to touch you.

But know that some of us will be looking.

J-Lo knows this.