Happy Whatever You Celebrate Today!

Faithful shipmates may recall back during the ill-fated 2024 Biden-Trumpf debate, the Captain wrote about Trumpf’s debate technique known as “Gish Gallop”. Coined in 1994 by the anthropologist Eugenie Scott, it is named after the American Creationist Duane Gish, who was dubbed the technique's "most avid practitioner".

The Gish Gallop is a rhetorical tactic in which a debater overwhelms an opponent by making a rapid-fire series of arguments, with no concern for their accuracy or strength. The sheer volume of false, misleading, or specious points makes it impossible for the opponent to refute them all in the allotted time, creating the illusion that the person making them has "won" the debate.

During that fateful debate, President Biden stood by, befuddled, unable to keep up with Trumpf’s lies. 

Biden was quickly replaced on the ballot.

What we’re seeing in American politics today is the Gish Gallop on a far larger scale. Mass lay-offs of government employees, the unprecedented deployment of National Guard and U.S. Marines in American cities based on lies, yet another government shut-down due to the Republicans’ failure to pass a budget or even a continuing resolution, the assessing-then-rescinding of outrageous tariffs and the accompanying lies about who pays the tax, lies about reducing costs of goods and pharmaceuticals by numerically-impossible thousands of percents, the unilateral sinking of foreign vessels in international waters without proof of wrongdoing, the on-going flurry of Executive Orders and the usurpation of the role of Congress in all of this – not to mention that most of this is illegal and is slowly wending its way through an overwhelmed court system – it’s hard for the average American – and the Captain – to keep up. 

And while the president keeps us occupied / distracted with all of that, much more sinister deeds are being perpetrated on the American people.

Humans are capable of only so much outrage before we surrender to the lies.

Yer Captain will never surrender – that’s just not in my blood. But only nine months in, I am growing weary of it all.

The Captain wakes up every morning to a Facebook page filled with outrage.

CAPTAIN’S NOTE: Yes, I have purged most of the MAGAts out of my FB feed with no regrets, but my liberal-minded friends continue to rage about the daily pronouncements of the president.

I am sick and tired of seeing the president’s ugly mug every time I open FB or my news apps or even when I turn on the Today Show. I have a couple openly-MAGA neighbors who wear their gear proudly, which I try to ignore. The Nightly News is filled with more Trumpf nonsense, and the late-night talk shows just beat the day’s news like a dead horse.

Is there nothing else left to talk about in this world? Can we not go for a single day/hour/minute without him invading our consciousness?

I yearn for a return to the day when my feed was filled with cat posts!

I’d even settle for the return of that annoying Farmville!

Since Trumpf lost the 2025 Nobel Peace Prize to a Venezuelan actually working for democracy and peace in her country, others are trying to assuage the man-baby. Israel is considering giving him a made-up Israeli Peace Prize for his “peace through strength” attitude.

CAPTAIN’S NOTE: The announced cease-fire between Israel and Hamas (who was not included at the negotiating table) has not been signed by Hamas, although I understand today the hostages have been released. I don’t expect the fighting to end.

And because today is Columbus Day – a day Liberals recognize instead as Indigenous People Day in opposition to the mythology of Christopher Columbus – Trumpf issued edicts for his minions to reclaim Columbus Day, for which the National Italian-American Federation publicly praised him.

CAPTAIN’S NOTE: Although they did not give him the prestigious “Meucci Award for Italian-American Man of the Year”, which they gave to Michael Corleone in 1979 (a Godfather 3 reference). 

So, instead of Trumpf, today let’s talk a little about Christopher Columbus and why the U.S. recognizes Columbus Day.

Christopher Columbus (1451-1506) has long been hailed as the one who discovered America; we were all carefully indoctrinated from grade school on up. An Italian-born explorer and navigator, he developed a plan to seek a western sea passage to the East Indies, hoping to profit from the lucrative spice trade. He convinced the Spanish (Catholic) monarchs, Isabella I and Fedinand II, to sponsor his voyage with three ships.

Thus, “In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue”.

CAPTAIN’S NOTE: Recent DNA research suggests that Columbus was a Sephardic Jew, so sailing under a Catholic banner strikes yer Captain as odd, but I guess it pays the bills.

Columbus knew the Earth was spherical (as did most educated people of his time), but he sorely misjudged how large the Earth is. Three months after setting sail, he landed on an island in the Bahamas – only 8,300 miles off-course! – on October 12, 1492, claiming the populated island for Spain and the Roman Catholic Church.

Because he thought he was in the East indies, he called the native people “Indians”.

He made his way through Cuba and Hispaniola and established a colony in Haiti, spreading European diseases, murdering and enslaving the native peoples along the way. By his own accounts, he was brutal toward the native people, and when he returned to Spain in 1493 he brought captured natives along with him. 

Columbus made four such journeys to “the new world”, and for a time was appointed colonial governor of what would be renamed the West Indies. Word of his violent treatment of the native people made its way back to Spain and he was recalled in 1499.

In all this time, he never set foot on what today constitutes The United States of America or its territories.

So why the big deal? Why a federal holiday in his honor?

In 1866 the date was celebrated by Italian-Americans as an Italian heritage festival, not so much about Columbus.

In 1892, after the lynching of 11 Italian immigrants in New Orleans, President Benjamin Harrison declared a one-day Columbus Day celebration in hopes of ease tensions between the U.S. and Italy. Teachers used the occasion to teach their students about patriotism, citizenship, and loyalty to the United States.

In 1934, after much lobbying by Italian-Americans, Congress encouraged the President to officially recognize Columbus Day. President Roosevelt did so, but that did not make it a federal holiday.

During WWII, 1,881 Italian immigrants were put in internment camps as “enemy aliens”.

In 1942, FDR removed that designation, and offered citizenship to 200,000 elderly Italian immigrants who could not pass the citizenship test due to, among other things, illiteracy. 

The interned Italians were not released until 1943 following Italy’s surrender.

More lobbying followed and President Lyndon Johnson formalized the day in 1968 – to begin as a federal holiday in 1971.

So, in short, we celebrate Columbus Day due to the lobbying efforts of Italian-Americans.

CAPTAIN'S NOTE: It should have been Antonio Meucci Day, who actually did invent the telephone a year before Alexander Graham Bell. 

Many years ago, when I was an up-and-coming Captain, the local mayor proposed erecting a giant cross where the town’s main street meets the Ohio River. Attempting to evade questions of the Establishment Clause, she declared it was to commemorate Christopher Columbus’ discovery of America. Throwing caution to the wind, yer Captain put pen to paper and challenged her proposal in the local newspaper: Columbus did NOT discover America, did NOT set foot on American soil, and most importantly, did NOT navigate the Ohio River to our fair town. Why would we honor him?

The proposed cross was never raised.

Columbus Day has lost its luster in recent years - perhaps because the Italians let us believe that Olive Garden was authentic Italian cuisine?

Whatever the cause, the it has been relegated to “just another day” in many states and municipalities. It was replaced with “Indigenous People Day” in Berkeley, CA in 1992, acknowledging the thousands upon thousands of native peoples killed or displaced by the colonialism that built America. That idea has caught on and it is this "Liberal mindset" the president railed against last week in his proclamation.

As for today, the only thing I could tell that is different today is that the mail did not run.

Or was it mis-delivered?

 

 

 

Taking the Day Off

Nah, I'm not really taking the day off. 

The Captain just wrote that title to throw the First Mate off my scent.

I'm at work. 

Because there's work to be done!

But, I am going to take it easy with today's blog post. For the first time ever, I'm going to let someone else write it.

And not just any "someone".

A MAGAt!

I know! Crazy, right!?!

Let me explain.

The Captain is not a Bird Watcher, but I understand a little of what it's like to search and search and search for something until you finally find it, be it a great white whale or a critically endangered Akikiki [Oreomystis bairdi].

Yer Captain just happened to hear a MAGAt in the wild over the weekend and I want to share his words with you today. 

First, the background. 

A couple days ago, Captain Whitebeard posted a frustration on Facebook.  

Yes, we have the same first name.

No, we are not related. 

Captain Whitebeard still has MAGAt friends, and one spoke up in protest:
 

 

 

Captain Whitebeard tried to get a word in edgewise.

The MAGAt responded.

 

This is when yer Captain stepped in with a question referring to a previous comment.

 

And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. The great American MAGA Boobie -sadly neither rare nor endangered!

 Lord help us!

 

Congratulations! Trump Won!

 “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

-the First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution

 "After years and years of illegal and unconstitutional federal efforts to restrict free expression, I also will sign an executive order to immediately stop all government censorship and bring back free speech to America. Never again will the immense power of the state be weaponized to persecute political opponents — something I know something about. We will not allow that to happen. It will not happen again.”

-President Donald Trump, Inauguration Speech 2025

"Hate speech does not exist legally in America. There's ugly speech. There's gross speech. There's evil speech. And ALL of it is protected by the First Amendment. Keep America free."

-Charlie Kirk on X 

"President Biden is right. Political satire is one of the oldest and most important forms of free speech. It challenges those in power while using humor to draw more people into the discussion. That's why people in influential positions have always targeted it for censorship."

-Brendan Carr on X, 05-02-2022 

On Wednesday, September 17^th, Jimmy Kimmel and his late-night television show “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” were suspended “indefinitely” by Disney/ABC CEO Bob Iger over an allegedly offensive monologue he delivered on September 15. 

[Transcript included below.]

The subject of the joke: the assassination of right-wing commentator Charlie Kirk on September 10 while Kirk was speaking to students on a college campus in Utah.

The target of the joke: President Trump.

The Captain feels that is an important distinction that is often overlooked.

Apparently executives at both Disney and ABC were not concerned, but a lot of others were, and ultimately Kimmel was canned.

The Right celebrated!

The Left organized boycotts against Disney and Disney assets in protest, which yer Captain believes targets the wrong entity.

Bob Iger did not start this fight. He did what he felt he had to do to protect his multi-billion dollar company.

Put yourself in his shoes.

And be honest with yourself for a moment.

As chairperson of a multi-national corporation worth $204 billion, beholden to stockholders and a corporate board, not to mention hundreds of thousands of employees… and you’re going to risk your broadcast license over one comedian’s late-night joke?

You might recall from 2022 that Disney took a “principled stance” against Florida’s “Don’t Say Gay” law. DeSantis retaliated and two years of legal battles later Disney settled with the state in a terrible deal.

Ya wanna go through that with the FCC now?

CAPTAIN’S NOTE: As of this writing, DIS has lost about 5% of its stock value since the day before the Kirk shooting, but nowhere near its lowest price of the year back in April.

It is yet to be seen how these boycotts will affect advertising and subscriptions, but yer Captain still questions the effectiveness of boycotts in general and this one in particular.

Especially boycotts by Liberals.

Sorry.

So how did we get here?

It is no secret that Donald Trump is not a fan of the mainstream media.

They sometimes report uncomfortable truths about him.

He hates the late-night TV hosts even more, as they are free to lampoon him (severely at times).

To be fair, Trump makes himself an easy target for comedians.

After Trump successfully pressured CBS into firing Steven Colbert, he turned his sights on his next target: Jimmy Kimmel.

Kimmel’s monologue on September 15 was all the fodder trump needed.

But he didn’t do it himself.

Speaking on a podcast, “The Benny Show”, Federal Communications Commission chairman Brendan Carr criticized Kimmel’s monologue and warned ABC,

“We can do this the easy way or the hard way. These companies can find ways to change conduct and take action, frankly, on Kimmel, or there’s going to be additional work for the FCC ahead.”

The implication was clear: the FCC could pull ABC’s broadcast license if they didn’t do something about Kimmel.

Just hours later, Sinclair Broadcasting announced it would not show “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” on any of its 38 ABC affiliate stations after Kimmel’s monologue.

"Mr. Kimmel's remarks were inappropriate and deeply insensitive at a critical moment for our country, we believe broadcasters have a responsibility to educate and elevate respectful, constructive dialogue in our communities, we appreciate FCC Chairman Carr's remarks today and this incident highlights the critical need for the FCC to take immediate regulatory action to address control held over local broadcasters by the big national networks."

-Sinclair Vice Chairman Jason Smith

Among Sinclair’s conditions for resuming Kimmel’s talk show on their local ABC affiliates was for the late-night host to apologize to the Kirk family and donate to them and Kirk’s political organization Turning Point USA “a significant personal financial contribution”.

CAPTAIN’S NOTE: Does that sound like extortion to anyone besides the Captain?

But the widely-known conservative broadcast company was not alone.

Nexstar, with 28 ABC affiliates, also announced they would not air Kimmel’s show, putting more pressure on Iger at Disney/ABC.

These two companies together would equal about 1/3 of all ABC affiliates.

But here’s where it gets complicated. Nexstar wants to purchase Tegna’s 64 TV stations in a $6.2B deal. This would require an FCC rule change & approval, over which President Trump would hold some sway.

And if the FCC chairman has already spoken out against you, chances are slim the deal would go through.

That, too, was on Iger's radar. 

Was Kimmel’s monologue all that bad?

In the days that have passed, yer Captain has heard many on the Right decry what Jimmy Kimmel said. Most of those complaints simply proved that those people had not actually heard the monologue and were only repeating what other agitators told them.

Here is the text of Jimmy Kimmel’s monologue from September 15:

     “We hit some new lows over the weekend with the MAGA gang trying to characterize this kid who killed Charlie Kirk as anything other than one of them and doing everything they can to score political points from it.

     “In between the finger-pointing, the White House flew the flag at half-staff, which got some criticism, but on a human level, you can see how hard the president was taking this.”

     [He then cut to a clip of President Trump being questioned by a reporter outside the White House, where he was asked how he was holding up in the wake of Kirk’s assassination. The commander-in-chief said, “I think very good,” then immediately changed the subject to the renovations being done to the White House ballroom.]

     “He’s at the fourth stage of grief: construction.

     “This is not how an adult grieves the murder of someone he called a friend. This is how a 4-year-old mourns a goldfish. Okay?”

-excerpted from New York Post, September 18, 2025

You will see in this transcript that Kimmel does not, in fact, make fun of Charlie Kirk. The target of his commentary is the President, who, immediately following the shooting accused Democrats and “the radical Left”.

CAPTAIN’S NOTE: Over the weekend the news leaked that the FBI has still found no connection between the shooter and any Left-wing organization. Perhaps it is time they start looking toward the Right?

I mean, seriously, me dear ol’ Mum taught me to look “both ways” before crossing the street. Perhaps the FBI needs to do the same?

What those hating on Jimmy Kimmel have not said is that following the shooting, Kimmel posted the following message to the Kirk family on Instagram:

"Instead of the angry finger-pointing, can we just for one day agree that it is horrible and monstrous to shoot another human?... On behalf of my family, we send love to the Kirks and to all the children, parents and innocents who fall victim to senseless gun violence."

In fact, Kimmel’s monologue on September 15 began with criticism of the President’s response to the shooting. He pointed out that every former president – from Bill Clinton to Joe Biden – released compassionate statements in attempts to unite the country. Kimmel continued:

"With all these terrible things happening, you would think that our president would at least make an attempt to bring us together… President Trump did not. Instead, he blamed Democrats for their rhetoric.”

So Jimmy Kimmel was suspended.

Indefinitely.

Not for criticizing Charlie Kirk, but for criticizing the president.

And Disney is being punished.

Meanwhile, Kirk is being deified.

His supporters are making him out to be a greater Christian than Jesus Christ!

Congress just passed a resolution honoring Kirk.

Trump has stated he will grant Kirk a Medal of Freedom posthumously.

A huge memorial service was held last night in the Arizona Cardinals stadium, which Trump turned into yet another campaign rally calling attention to himself.

Evangelical churches are reportedly using AI to create videos of Charlie Kirk saying things he never really said.

Inexplicably, Republican lawmakers in Oklahoma introduced legislation last week that would require every public university in the state to construct a “Charlie Kirk Memorial Plaza” with a statue of the assassinated activist and a sign calling him “a modern civil rights leader”. Failure to do so would result in a monthly fine.

 This one's in Iowa. James T. Kirk.

Kirk’s wife is quickly stepping into his role as leader of Turning Point USA, which is odd since Kirk professed belief that women should stay at home and raise children.

CAPTAIN’S NOTE: The Kirks have two small children, ages three and one. One might think following a tragedy like this these children might need their mother more than ever.

But that's none of my business. 

And all of this is happening despite the fact that Charlie Kirk called for the full and unredacted release of the Epstein Files.

So yes, Trump won!

He muzzled another one of his critics without violating the First Amendment.

He has convinced you to blame someone else for it.

He has damaged Disney / ABC, to what extent is yet to be known.

And with two successes under his belt, he has now set his sight on Seth Myers and Jimmy Fallon.

Democracy is falling.

You have been warned.

POSTSCRIPT: Upon completion of this writing, ABC has announced "Jimmy Kimmel Live!" will return to the air tomorrow night. 

 

 

 

 

Yet Another Shooting **UPDATED**

[No pictures today, mates. The Captain just doesn't have the energy for it. Apologies.] 

Mates, your Captain is stewing powerfully over yesterday’s shooting.

No, not the one in Colorado, in which three high school students were critically injured. That one is easy. The shooting was wrong and I am whole-heartedly praying for those injured as well as other students at the school.

CAPTAIN’S NOTE: The shooter has since died from self-inflicted wounds.

My struggle is with the other shooting – the one in Utah that has sucked all the oxygen out of the room.

Far-right podcaster and political agitator Charlie Kirk was shot dead while speaking to students on a college campus.

Only 31 years old, the college drop-out rose to fame by creating “Turning Point USA”, a right-wing student organization that was supposed to rival the liberal “Moveon.org”. Aligning himself with Donald Trumpf and the MAGA movement, in five years his salary quickly jumped from $27,000 to $325,000, and somehow he was able to purchase an $850,000 condo in Florida.

His became the face and voice amplifying Trumpf’s every conspiracy theory, from COVID-19 to election fraud to white nationalism to what happened on January 6^th.

CAPTAIN’S NOTE: He promised to send 80 busloads of college students to the J-6 rally. In reality, he only filled seven.

The Southern Poverty Law Center classified his political positions as “hate speech”.

His assassin (yes, this was a political assassination) has not yet been caught. The working theory is that he was on a rooftop two hundred yards away.

Mates, that is the equivalent of two football fields!

The distance and accuracy of that single shot makes it obvious this was not some random shooter. It was likely a skilled marksman with specialized equipment.

Now, as someone on social media pointed out, if gun owners were required to register their weapons, the search for this shooter would be quickly narrowed down. 

But we all know that's not going to happen, even now. 

The fact that the shooter disappeared without a trace also suggests this was very carefully planned out.

The FBI almost immediately arrested two separate individuals and prematurely proclaimed on social media, “We have the shooter in custody!” They were both released a short time later for lack of evidence.

That’s Trumpf’s FBI.

Filled with podcasters and social media influencers.

So far, no evidence has been found to direct the FBI’s search.

No eyewitnesses.

No manifesto released explaining why he did it.

So let’s narrow it down: Who could have wanted Charlie Kirk dead?

Honestly, most anybody.

While most Democrats / liberals hated him, some in the right-wing also hated him. Laura Loomer, a pretty repulsive “influencer” herself, just last week declared:

     “I don’t ever want to hear @charliekirk11 claim he is pro-Trump ever again. After this weekend, I’d say he has revealed himself as political opportunist and I have had a front row seat to witness the mental gymnastics these last 10 years.

     “Lately Charlie has decided to behave like a charlatan, claiming to be pro-Trump one day while he stabs Trump in the back the next.

     “TPUSA was only able to thrive thanks to the generosity of President Trump.”

She's not wrong. 

CAPTAIN’S NOTE: Now that he is dead, she’s saying nice things about him again.

So, yeah, it could have been anybody!

Ironically, at the very moment Kirk was shot he was answering a question about gun violence.

You may be familiar with his position on gun violence, shared after a horrific mass shooting in 2023:

"I think it's worth it to have a cost of, unfortunately, some gun deaths every single year so that we can have the Second Amendment to protect our other God-given rights."

You know, those school children senselessly slaughtered?

Just a little [necessary] collateral damage.

Human sacrifices offered up to the almighty god of war: the Second Amendment!

“Worth it!”

Trumpf quickly hailed Kirk as a hero and ordered flags to be lowered to half-staff.

CAPTAIN’S NOTE: You may recall that when former President Jimmy Carter died (of natural causes), President Biden followed protocol and ordered flags to be lowered for 30 days. But Trumpf didn’t care about protocol and had them raised again before his inauguration.

And in a completely tone-deaf moment last night, the president declared,

“It’s long past time for all Americans and the media to confront the fact that violence and murder are the tragic consequence of demonizing those with whom you disagree…”

Yer Captain doesn’t even know where to begin with that statement! SMH!

As expected, social media has been abuzz since the shooting.

Some immediately blamed Democrats and demanded retribution.

“Blood for blood!”

CAPTAIN'S NOTE: Since we have no idea who the shooter is, it's a bit premature to assume he is a Democrat. But as the president said (above) we too often "demonize those with whom you disagree."

Y'all listening? 

Apparently not, because Representative Nancy Mace (R-SC) declared no one will be safe until the Democrats are completely crushed under foot!

And now she says she’s going to start carrying a gun – for her own protection.

No rooftop sniper’s gonna take her down!

Right-wing memes are already declaring Kirk a martyr.

Yer Captain asks, “A martyr for what exactly?”

One Congressman today declared there should be a statue of Charlie Kirk in the Capitol Rotunda.

Probably the same guy that wants to add Trumpf’s likeness to Mt. Rushmore.

Now mates, here’s my problem. As a pastor, yer Captain is supposed to see the light of Christ in every human being.

Many of my friends and colleagues have told me so.

“He was a child of God.”

“He was someone’s son, husband, father…”

“No one deserves to die like that.”

And I don't put a lot of stock in the concept of eternal damnation. I do believe God's grace is sufficient. 

But I confess I am struggling with this one.

As Clarence Darrow once said, "I've never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure."

Yes, yer Captain grieves for Kirk’s wife and two small children.

I pray for them that they don’t carry on his legacy of hate.

I will agree that no one deserves to die for speaking their opinions – no matter how evil and twisted those opinions might be.

And his were often downright vile!

But for the man who once proclaimed, “I can't stand the word empathy, actually. I think empathy is a made-up, new age term that — it does a lot of damage”…

I’ll be honest. I won't dance a jig on his grave. But I also won’t shed a tear. 

I won’t miss him. 

At all.

The Apostle Paul wrote these words in his Letter to the Galatians:

“Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man [sic] reaps what he sows. Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.”

To paraphrase: Our actions / words have consequences. 

And don't be fooled. Words can be just as deadly, just as violent, as any gun ever crafted by human hands. 

So, you want to know who killed Charlie Kirk?

The Captain says, “Look no further than Charlie Kirk.” 

***UPDATE***UPDATE***UPDATE***UPDATE***

Word from Utah today (9/12/25) is that the alleged shooter is in custody, turned in to Utah police by a family member. 

Not found by Trumpf's FBI.

Curious.

His name is Tyler Robinson. 

It seems SOMEONE owes Democrats an apology. 😎