The world is at war. Again.
(Or is that “still”?)
This time, the United States and Israel started it with a bombardment of missiles on Iran.
Make no mistake, my friends, this time WE started it!
Don’t listen to Little Marco or any of the other administration mouthpieces who are trying to convince you we only bombed them because they were about to bomb us.
Oh no. There was no “imminent threat” from Iran.
No secret “weapons of mass destruction”.
How does the Captain know this? As you might recall, we “obliterated” Iran’s nuclear missile capabilities in a bombing raid back in June 2025.
Trumpf has been crowing about that ever since!
Was he wrong? Or lying?
So what’s this war all about?
Truth is, mates, Israel has wanted to destroy Iran for decades.
Finally, Netanyahu has found a willing sucker in Donald J. Trumpf.
Seriously, Trumpf claims this assault is only necessary because Obama and Biden wouldn’t do it years ago.
In fact, Trumpf campaigned on ending wars, not starting them!
But everyone knows that Trumpf, “the Peace President”, has been itching for war, any war.
CAPTAIN’S NOTE: Yer Captain suspects it’s just to justify changing the name of the Department of Defense to the Department of War.
If yer keepin’ account, since January 2025 he has bombed seven different countries!
Countries either unable or unwilling to retaliate.
So this time, with a willing partner in Israel, Saudi Arabia lit the fuse.
We can only assume money exchanged hands between Mohammed bin Salman and Donald Trumpf.
Yes, the same Mohammed bin Salman who ordered the dismemberment and death (in that order) of journalist Jamal Khashoggi in 2018.
So, to the surprise of no one, missiles began raining down on Iran over the weekend.
But wait. Despite a prolonged build-up of U.S. military assets in the Persian Gulf, the assault apparently did catch many by surprise.
Like the U.S. Congress, for example, which has the specific authority to declare war.
They were not consulted.
Perhaps Senator Susan Collins was concerned.
And Little Mike Johnson, the most uninformed Speaker of the House we've ever had, hadn’t heard anything about it.
On the other hand, war hawk Senator Lindsay Graham wet himself with joy when he heard the news!
Apparently no one in Congress was either curious or overly concerned (besides Susan Collins) when the second aircraft carrier arrived in the Gulf.
What’s more, our allies in the area were not warned of the imminent action – as demonstrated by the fact that Kuwait shot down three U.S. fighter jets thinking they were Iranian!
After the launch, Spain announced that its military bases would not be used for U.S. airstrikes.
In typical reaction, Trumpf has promised to severe all U.S. trade with Spain.
NOTE TO SELF: Stock up on Spanish wine!
Worse still, U.S. citizens living and working in middle eastern countries were not given advance notice to evacuate.
Now the State Department is telling them, “Get out however you can!”
But without help from the U.S. Government.
Airports and commercial airspace in the region are shut down and missiles and drones are flying through the air, so good luck and god speed.
The U.S./Israeli bombardment has accomplished the sought after damage.
Ayatollah Khamenei and many of his leadership team have been killed.
Military sites have been hit.
Iranian battleships have been sunk.
But a girls school was also struck, reportedly killing as many as 160 children ages 7-12.
Graves being dug for the school girls killed in the aerial assault.
CAPTAIN’S NOTE: Right-wing talking heads are trying to spin this, saying the school was on a military base or that Iran was using the school children as a shield; one even argued that it was an errant Iranian missile that struck the school.
These are all lies.
Of course, most of the weaponry used in this war is ours.
We sold weapons to Iran for years, hoping they would use them against Iraq.
We still provide Israel with whatever they ask for, despite the ongoing ethnic cleansing happening in Gaza.
So these missiles are likely all ours!
In response to being attacked, Iran has lashed out in every direction: at Israel, at U.S. military bases in the region, and at other prime targets of U.S. allies.
Iran has also closed off the Straits of Hormuz, a primary shipping lane for oil.
Today Trumpf promised military escorts and “insurance” for tankers passing through the Straits.
What? Now he’s playing “Lloyd’s of London”? With our tax money!?!
Not to miss an opportunity, Israel has expanded its part of the war to include bombing Hezbollah in Lebanon as well.
Will that draw Lebanon into the war?
Members of the Australian Defense Force were on one of the U.S. bases struck by Iran.
Will that draw Australia into this war?
NATO shot down a missile headed toward Türkiye.
Will that draw NATO into the war?
And on which side will they fight?
Russia is cashing in by providing additional weapons to Iran.
China may become more involved if they don’t get their oil, some 50% of which passes through the Straits of Hormuz.
Will Trumpf insure those tankers too?
My point being, this war will not and can not be contained to Iran alone.
Wars rarely do.
Furthermore, yer Captain wonders how long this war will hold Trumpf’s attention.
At some point, he’s going to want the “War Room” curtains taken down at Mar-a-Lago.
A very un-serious commander-in-chief, calling the shots from his golf resort
Of course, here at home we are being told “This is not a war”.
Little Mike Johnson said so.
There’s no need for Congress to vote on War Powers.
(Especially this close to mid-term elections.)
It’s not a war.
We are also being told this is not about regime change.
We’re just trying to change the regime.
But it’s not about regime change.
We are being told that whatever it is, it could last a few more days.
Perhaps 4-6 more weeks.
Maybe longer.
We are being told to expect even more than the six military deaths we’ve already suffered.
“That often happens in war.”
Words of comfort and assurance from our commander-in-chief.
As the bombardment continues – with no apparent endgame – the Dow dropped into the low 48s.
Local gas prices are already up by 50 cents per gallon, just five days into the war!
And it’s looking unlikely that the Iranian soccer team will be able to play in the World Cup.
If the tournament is able to be held at all.
Kinda makes the Captain wonder about the value of that made-up FIFA Peace Prize they gave to Trumpf.
Also note that so far we have not been “greeted as liberators” in Iran.
There was apparently no effort to drum up local support or even to assess who would lead the country when the bombs go silent.
The Ayatollah cut off the internet to his people months ago, so they have no idea what Trumpf was tweeting late at night from his golden toilet.
Ah, if only…
But seriously, is there an endgame? How will we know this war is over? How will we know who won?
When will President Trumpf receive the Nobel Peace Prize?
I mean, how many more nations does he have to bomb to get it!!!
Israel wants nothing less than the total destruction of Iran.
The U.S. seems to only want a pro-U.S. government and cheap oil.
But there appears to be no plan.
Trumpf is using words like “maybe” and “might” and “hopefully”.
The CIA is only now courting the Kurds to step into the fray and attack by land from the north.
The Kurds want U.S. weapons in return.
Thus weakening the Iranian military, the Iranian people can rise up against the Islamic regime.
But still, no one has been identified to lead the country.
Will Trumpf give that responsibility to Little Marco too?
Frankly, the lack of preparation on our part is mind-numbing!
For what it’s worth, Iran has already declared Ayatollah Khamenei’s son to be the new Supreme Leader of Iran, so actual regime change is not likely to happen.
You see, mates, Iran has been at war, well, pretty much since the beginning of time.
And the U.S. has been meddling in their affairs since at least WWII.
And after all this time, Iran knows how to fight a war.
They have stockpiles of weapons.
They have redundant chains of command.
There are orders to be carried out in the event of the Supreme Leader’s death.
Even if there is no one to give the order, everyone knows what to do next.
There are “sleeper cells” in the U.S. that have been activated, which will bring the war right to our doorstep.
And as we have learned from the past, the Iranians are not afraid to die for their country or their faith.
U.S. military bases around the world and at home are wisely beefing up their defenses.
Soldiers leaving base are instructed to wear civilian clothing so as to not become a target.
But still, there is no U.S./Israel plan.
Could this all really just be a distraction from the Trumpf/Epstein Files like so many believe?
Wait. I misspoke. There appears to be a plan.
Senior military leaders are telling our troops that Trumpf has been ordained by God to start this war, which will bring about the Biblical Armageddon – the final war, the final judgment.
I shit you not!
And if that is the plan, mates, we are all
