“Making
your way in the world today
takes everything you've got;
Taking a break from all your worries
sure would help a lot.
Wouldn't you like to get away?
Sometimes you want to go
where everybody knows your name,
and they're always glad you came;
You
wanna go where you can see
our troubles are all the same,
You wanna go where
everybody knows your name.”
That moment of nostalgia was brought to you by an article in
today’s Huffington Post.
Yes, the Captain knows how to read!
The article that inspired this blog post is titled, “10 TV
Friend Cliques We Wish We Could Join”. The link takes the reader to a series of
pictures that represent famous groups of friends on popular television shows.
Okay, in this particular case, the Captain didn’t have to
read anything!
Have you noticed how internet newspapers are relying more
and more on photographs and video reports rather than printed stories? I
appreciate the technology, but it disturbs me just a little bit that one day we
might not actually need to know how to read!
But I digress…
As I flipped through the images of this featured story, I
noted that I have enjoyed some of the shows (“How I Met Your Mother”, “New Girl”,
“The Big Bang Theory”), but not others (“Glee”, “GIRLS”, “Dawson Creek”).
Much to my surprise, “Cheers” was not on the list.
Curious.
Of all the television shows I have watched, there is no
other place – no other “friend clique” – I would rather go than to the Cheers bar.
Now, I don’t want everyone in the bar to shout out “Capt. Dave!”
whenever I enter. But I always appreciated the apparently welcoming atmosphere
on the show.
The ensemble cast was eclectic and quirky, but since it was
a bar, everyone was welcome there. Sure, there were the regulars – Norm (the
down on his luck accountant) and Cliff (a mailman), and Dr. Crane (a shrink). And when Frazier Crane married Lilith, she was welcomed there; whenever Cliff
found a girlfriend – odd as that sounds, she was also welcomed. And there were
also lesser characters at the bar that Sam and the rest of the staff knew by
name.
Here’s a little “Cheers” trivia for you: during the eleven
years the show was on, there were 10 primary cast members, 35 others with
recurring roles, and 781 guest stars!
Don’t laugh! That may win you a beer some night in a Trivia
contest!
I don’t see that so much in other “TV friend cliques”. For
instance, the friends on “The Big Bang Theory” are brought together either by
proximity (Penny lives across the hall from Sheldon & Leonard) or by work
(Howard & Raj work at the university with Sheldon & Leonard) or by relationship
(Bernadette is Howard’s girlfriend and Amy Farrah Fowler is Sheldon’s
girlfriend). No one else has successfully broken into that clique.
Likewise on “New Girl”, the core group of friends shares an
apartment. Yes, CeCe has joined the ensemble as the friend of Jess and the love
interest of Schmidt. But again, no one else has broken into that clique.
Even on “How I Met Your Mother” – a show I still love to
watch – the clique is tight. Outsiders – even boyfriends and girlfriends –
have a hard time breaking into the group. There have even been episodes based
on the group’s dislike of Ted’s latest girlfriend and Robin’s latest boyfriend,
usually because their presence disrupts the clique. It is a very closed group.
So my vote is still for “Cheers”! Where everybody knows your
name… Where they’re always glad you came… Where you can see our troubles are
all the same…
Now let me say a word about churches.
You knew I would, didn’t you?
How many of our churches are “friend cliques” and how many
are truly a place “where they’re always glad you came”?
Oh, I’m sure most churches will describe themselves as “friendly”.
Back in the days when we tried to “market” churches, many even labeled
themselves “the friendly church!” I never got the chance to visit one of those
to test the claim.
But what I have found is that most churches are “friend
cliques”. We are friendly to our friends, but outsiders have to really want to
be there and work hard to find their place in our tight little Sunday School
classes, Bible studies, fellowship groups, and accountability groups. Sometimes
we’re so closed to newcomers we don’t even tell them when some of these
opportunities are happening.
“Everybody already knows that!”
One reason we don’t want to do evangelism (yes, I’ve heard
this actually come out of a church member’s lips): “I already have enough
friends.”
Many churches attempt to train their members in “hospitality
evangelism”, how to welcome people so they will feel at home there. We attended
one such mega-church a few years back and, by the book, we were greeted 10
times between the parking lot and the auditorium.
Did I feel welcome there? Not in the least. The “greetings”
we received were fake and hurried. No one showed any real interest in the large
(family) group of strangers walking up the sidewalk. And at the end of the day,
no one really knew we were in the crowd.
To be fair (because the Captain always tries to be fair), in
a church that size, it is hard to tell who the visitors are. But in spite of
ten different people shaking my hand even before I entered the building, not a
one even asked!
I realize that not everybody is outgoing and always
cheerful. I am rarely outgoing and cheerful! So I realize that not everybody
wants to be my friend. But if they’ve accepted the task of being a “greeter”,
that is exactly what they should be! You want to find people for that job who simply
love other people!
One church I worked at while I was in college had a large
man with a Santa Claus beard who faithfully took up his volunteer post at the
entrance every Sunday morning. No one asked him to, he just did it. His smile
was genuine, he didn’t mind stopping to talk to visitors, and the back-breaking
bear hug he gave to everyone was genuine!
He truly liked other people!
And why is that important? Because…
“Sometimes
you want to go
where everybody knows your name,
and they're always glad you came;
You
wanna go where you can see
our troubles are all the same,
You wanna go where
everybody knows your name.”
In the news this week, select Sam's Clubs across the country are offering Jack Daniel's Tennessee Sipping Whiskey by the barrel.
