Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Lord Help Us!



Say it ain’t so, Santa!

Okay, you know things have gotten out of hand when the memes start appearing.

Today in the News, the Captain learned that Matt Lauer, the star of NBC’s TODAY show, was fired after accusations of sexual misconduct were leveled against him by several women.

The accusations were dated – going back as far as 2014 – but were apparently plausible.

And suddenly he’s gone.

Those pesky “moral turpitude” clauses in contracts!

Captain’s Note: I don’t believe for a moment that Lauer’s dismissal is permanent. NBC was paying him north of $10 million per year to keep TODAY at the top of the morning show competition. I expect him to re-emerge back at the top once the whole sexual misconduct accusations craze has blown over.

Captain’s Note #2: What, are we supposed to start watching CBS’s “Morning Show”, from which host Charlie Rose was recently removed dues to accusations of sexual misconduct?

Captain’s Note #3: The Captain calls it a “craze” not to demean the women who have been abused, but because so many of these accusations languished for years – if not decades – until the Harvey Weinstein business blew up. Within weeks, more than 40 famous names have been accused of inappropriate behavior. But the American public has a short attention span and people will soon tire of hearing about who the latest perv is and move on to the next “thing”.

But that’s not today!

A short time later, word came that MPR has fired Garrison Keillor!

The same. Sexual misconduct.

Minnesota Public Radio supposedly conducted a thorough examination of the charges launched against Keillor. As a result, the retired Keillor is to have no future connection to MPR, his name will be removed from everything he has touched, and his 40-year catalogue of work – from “Lake Woebegone” on down – will not be played on public radio ever again.

The Captain hasn’t heard the sordid details revealed by Keillor’s accusers, but I doubt they will top Lauer’s gifting a sex toy to a network employee with a note attached describing what he would like to do to her with said toy.

By mid-afternoon it was announced that Andrew Kreisberg was relieved of his responsibilities as producer of the “Flash” and “Supergirl” television shows. And this evening it was announced that a producer at CNN has also been fired.

Sexual misconduct.

By the way, Representative John Conyers (D-Michigan) this week was added to the list of disgraced politicians. Seems he likes to disrobe in his congressional office.

And yet, with 19 charges of sexual assault leveled against President Trumpf, as well as his own bragging that makes the accusations plausible, Trumpf is still President.


SMH!

Now, many of these accusations have been kept private. But as part of the uninformed public, the Captain wonders what types of accusations would lead to the immediate removal of celebrities so adored in the public eye.

Are they being accused of rape / attempted rape?

Or did they pat women on the fanny? Maybe squeeze a boob?

Did they “Grab ‘em by the pussy!” – as our illustrious President once boasted?

Captain’s Note: No, Mr. President, you know as well as I do that recording was not “faked”. You’re a perv too. You were just lucky enough to be elected President with a Congress that lacks the backbone to do anything about it.

The Captain wonders, are these men accused of “Oops, you saw me naked”, or of intentionally wagging their thangs in front of female – or male – co-workers?

Did they intentionally leave a pornographic photo on their computer screen where an innocent intern would find it?

Or did they tell an off-color joke that made someone feel uncomfortable?   

I once had a church member who would greet me at the door with, “Hey Preacher, I’ve got a joke for you!” It was always racist or sexist or otherwise inappropriate. Finally I started stopping him and asking, “Is it something I can use in a sermon?” “Oh, no!” he would exclaim. “Then it’s best you not tell it to me.”

And he would traipse down the hallway and tell the joke to the Women’s Bible Class.

To the Captain, the nature of the accusation makes a difference. Rape is a crime, a crime of violence. Patting a fanny, while often unwanted, is rude – an invasion of one’s personal space – but not really grounds for dismissal.

Or is it?

Captain’s Note: As a rule, the Captain keeps his hands to himself. Other peoples’ bodies are their property, not mine. In fact, I don’t proposition or grope anyone but the First Mate. She would hoist me by me scrote from the mainmast, to be sure!

That doesn’t mean me eyes don’t linger in appreciation of an attractive gam from time to time.


But seriously, what behavior is deserving of losing one’s job? What behavior is deserving of having 20 or 40 years of one’s life’s work erased?

Am I no longer allowed to sing “The Methodist Blues” just because Keillor misbehaved?


Sexual harassment / sexual abuse is a serious problem. As the Captain has written in a previous post, I suspect we need a “Me too!” movement for men, confessing that at one time or another we have acted inappropriately toward the opposite sex.

Because I know you have.

I know I have.

The sexualization of women is a part of the culture I grew up in.

Secretaries. Stewardesses. School girls. Hotel maids. Wenches. 


All fair game.

Just look at the recent spate of Halloween costume offerings for women – most prefaced with “sexy”.

There was even a “Sexy Poop Emoji” costume!


I shit you not!

Captain's Note: Did you see what I did there? LOL!

Of course, that's all a lie.

And that doesn’t mean we can’t educate men - it's mostly men - and do better in the future.

But that requires the victims to speak up. Immediately.

Not 40 years later.

As a friend suggested, just kick him in the nuts and be done with it.


Much more satisfying, and it saves the media circus that inevitably comes later.

Yes, I get that some women are afraid to talk about sexual harassment / sexual abuse. They’re afraid of the “good ol’ boy” system. They’re afraid they will lose their jobs. They don’t want to cause trouble. They don’t want to be labeled.

But from the Captain’s perspective, had the woman who accused Lauer of sexual misconduct come forward back in 2014 when she claims it happened, something might have been done that could have actually improved her work environment and saved other women from the same abuse.

Then all this drama would be unnecessary.

And we could focus instead on the absolutely immoral budget that Congress is about to pass.

Oh, yes. The Captain can pay attention to more than one thing at a time!



Monday, November 20, 2017

Home Improvements



So here’s what the Captain has been up to the last couple of weeks.


The last time we brought The Tiki Hut in, the Captain came in a little “hot”.

In fact, a friend suggested I rename her “Ramming Speed”.

A previous renter had installed a fender at the front of end of the slip, so no risk of damage there.

But there was this:


It left a pretty nasty scar on my bow.

That set me off to find a remedy.

Captain’s Note: Others have suggested I just learn how to drive the damn boat. But what fun would that be?

I checked out what other boaters did.


Multiple wraps of carpet was not a satisfactory solution for The Tiki Hut.


Fancy fenders like this are fine - but expensive - for a pontoon, but not for The Tiki Hut.
 
So for the last couple of weeks – on my days off – when not banging my head against the wall about the current occupant of the White House - I have transformed the slip into a more “boat-friendly” setting.


The ugly steel bracket has been boxed in behind wood, and fenders on each post will hit at the rub rail.

And the rope will allow the First Mate to grab hold instead of jumping off onto the dock to guide her in.

I may do a little more cosmetic stuff - but I keep reminding myself I'm just renting this space.

Winter is fast approaching here, and there is not much water in the lake now anyway. So projects like these will keep the Captain busy until warmer weather returns! 

Because idle hands... yada yada yada...