Grieving

[No pictures today. Sorry.]

These are dark days for your Captain.

On Friday, my oldest brother died. He was 59.

He had already battled Leukemia and nearly won the war.

In December his doctor found a spot on his colon; he was also experiencing discomfort believed to be gall stones. Early in January they opened him up and discovered his abdomen completely filled with cancer.

They simply sewed him back up.

No timeline was given. He spent about a month in the hospital, then was discharged to the care of his/our mother.

And hospice.

On Friday his condition had worsened and the decision was made to take him to the Hospice Center. He had previously refused to take the pain-killers hospice provided, but this time the decision was made for him. Morphine was administered and he calmed down.

He fell asleep.

And did not wake up.

The family grieves, although we are thankful he is out of pain.

The funeral will be Friday.

At the same time, the General Conference of The United Methodist Church is meeting in St. Louis to address the denomination’s position on homosexuality.

Since 1972, our Book of Discipline has declared homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching. In ensuing years, additional prohibitions were added. Tensions increased in the Church to the point that at the 2012 General Conference a woman threatened to throw herself from the rail of the balcony.

In 2016, the Bishops determined that something needed to be done. Discussion of the issue was tabled and a special-called session was arranged, which began on Saturday.

After two years of study by a named committee, three plans were put forth – ranging from removing all restrictive language regarding homosexuality to tightening the current restrictions.

As of today, the prevailing plan – despite Constitutional conflicts – seems to be the more restrictive one.

Many of us are grieving.

There is only one more day to turn this around.

Captain’s Note: If there are necessary changes to be made to the denomination’s Constitution, it would require a 2/3 majority approval of the annual conferences. So there is still a chance to thwart this plan should it pass, but it would simply prolong the battles.

Captain's Note #2: Some 43% of the delegates to the conference are from Africa, which is the fastest-growing arm of the denomination, largely established by more conservative-minded missionaries. In a quirk of our rules, the African churches can add cultural accommodations to their Book of Discipline that we do not get to vote on. However, they get to vote on what goes into the American version of the Discipline.

And, right now our region is flooding. Kentucky Lake is approaching a record high, and the difference between above the dam and below the dam is only about 15 feet. The floodgates in are in at Paducah and water is about three feet up the flood wall.

On Sunday morning, the sailboat section of Pier 4 at Kentucky Dam Marina broke free of its moorings on the port side; it began drifting toward Pier 3.

The Captain’s Tiki Hut is docked on Pier 4. Captain Whitebeard’s sailboat is at the end of the pier that was adrift.

The marina leapt into action and the temporary resolution was to tie off the pier to trees along the shoreline, effectively shutting off water access to half the boats on Piers 4 and 6.

Captain Whitebeard is NOT happy!

As a precaution, the Marina has locked down the entirety of Pier 4, which means the Captain does not have access to The Tiki Hut either! It may be shut down for four weeks...

Your Captain is NOT happy!

And, finally, Donald Trumpf is still President.

This despite virtually every intelligent person in these United States publicly declaring he is incompetent and has most likely committed a crime.

No, CRIMES!

Your Captain is very tired of all the hand-wringing and is waiting for someone to begin prosecution.

Rumor is the Mueller Report is almost complete, but it has not been revealed yet. And many wonder if the Republicans will somehow block it from being shared with the public.

Whatever happened to “…of the people, by the people, for the people…”?

To make a long story short, your Captain is grieving today.

But I’m not sure about what...

"The Historical Jesus"

Yesterday in the mail the Captain received the monthly community mailing from the local Church of Christ. Normally I would toss it in the garbage bin on the way into the house, but this time I decided to see what my neighbors were up to.

They did not disappoint.

When I was but a young powder monkey, a Church of Christ congregation would publish an ad in the local newspaper that stirred up a lot of conversation in town. They would declare that Churches of Christ are “the one true church” – if for no other reason than that they call themselves “Church of Christ” instead of “Methodist” (the church of John Wesley) or “Lutheran” (the church of Martin Luther). These ads told us God forbids dancing and instrumental music and fun in general, and basically that all the rest of us were going to hell unless we converted to the Church of Christ.

Ah, the threat of Hell… always good for a chuckle.

As I said, yesterday’s mail did not disappoint. On the back page was a brief article titled “The Historical Jesus”, which started out with the bold declaration, “There is more evidence for the historicity of Jesus of Nazareth (c. 4 BC – AD 30) than any other person of antiquity.”

Do tell…

Captain's Note: That "c." before the above dates means "circa", a fancy word for "we don't really know for sure."

To back up this claim, the writer pointed to “5,500 Greek manuscripts and thousands of copies of the New Testament…”

But wait a minute? How do multiple copies of the same book provide the overwhelming evidence of a person’s historicity?

From what the Captain has read, there have been 450 million copies of J.K. Rowling’s “Harry Potter” book sold, and 100 million copies of “50 Shades of Grey”. Does that prove that either Harry Potter or Christian Grey really existed?

Of course not.

The author goes on to point out that the New Testament was written by eight “inspired writers” who make reference to Jesus “over 1,500 times”.

Maybe that’s because the New Testament was written about Jesus?

By his disciples / apologists?

The writer concludes this amazing proof piece with this closing statement: “The New Testament evidence is more than adequate to establish the undeniable fact that Jesus existed and was and is the Son of God.”

Now mates, my seventh grade English teacher would have returned this work back to me with an “F” emblazoned in red across the top of the page.

Possibly written in her own blood...

While an obviously poor attempt was made in the writing to prove Jesus was an historical figure – which I don’t really think is in doubt – there was nothing in the article to prove “undeniably” that Jesus “was and is the Son of God”.

Then there’s this, the picture accompanying the article…

Who is this supposed to be? 

I'm going with Kenny Loggins again...

And how does this support the thesis?

Shoddy work, really. Is it any wonder that the Church today is in decline?

Captain’s Note: Your Captain is a life-long Christian, from the cradle to… well, today. I don’t need to be convinced that Jesus is the Son of God. My point here is that if you want others to believe that too, you’re going to have to put forth just a little more effort.

A Day in the Life

It’s been rainy and overcast in the Captain’s world, and regrettably, I cannot bring the sunshine for you today.

If you have been sailing with us long, you have undoubtedly heard about the Captain’s rash.

No, it’s not what you think.

Or where you think...

About 10 months ago, a rash developed on the Captain’s shin. 

What is it? Poison Ivy? Ring Worm?

A milder version was also spreading randomly across my body.

Unsightly, but only a mild irritation.

After several months of treating the shin for all the wrong things (self-diagnosis), I finally gave in and went to Ready-Care.

Before they would have to cut off my leg…

Captain's Note: Not yet ready to go full-on Pyrat!

The intake nurse recoiled in horror as I pulled up my pants leg.

That didn’t instill confidence.

The Ready-Care doctor looked at it and declared it to be “cellulitis”, a throw-away word that covers any eruption of the skin. Concerned that it might be infected, he prescribed a sulfa-antibiotic.

Apparently the Captain is now allergic to Sulfa-drugs!

Rash on top of rash! Yay me!

I finally got in to see a dermatologist who diagnosed it as eczema.

Another throw-away word for a skin eruption, eczema is not curable; it will resolve itself "after months"...

The doctor prescribed an ointment that he said would alleviate the symptoms while my system healed.

Okay, maybe "the cause, but not the symptom"...

Six months later (last week) I returned for a follow-up.

Still itching.

So I agreed to submit to a “patch test”.

Now, in the Captain’s mind, I imagined a small, Band-aid-sized “patch”.

In reality it was a half-dozen bandages that covered my whole back with 65 different “patches” of chemicals known to contribute to “contact dermatitis”.

“Patches.”

The “patches” were applied on Monday.

No showering until the patches are removed...

On Wednesday they were removed.

Thank God!

And on Friday the “patches” were reviewed.

Turns out the Captain is allergic to a lot of shit!

Formaldehyde. Commonly found in building materials, but also a lot of cosmetics, household products, and pesticides contain it. And embalming fluid...

Captain's Note: So if I get embalmed, I will break out in a rash...?

Merthiolate. That's the red stuff me mother used to torture us with when we got cuts and scrapes as a kid. But "Thimerosal" is also found in nose drops, eye drops, liquid soaps, and some oral hygiene products.

Benzocaine. That's for sunburns! But members of the -caine familiy are also found in cough drops, hemorrhoidal creams, and poison ivy remedies.

And eight other - commonly used but difficult to pronounce - chemicals, as well as their closest relatives.

Including the Corticosteroid ointment the doctor gave me to alleviate the itching!

Dammit!

And get this! The Captain is allergic to Gold!

I shit you not! I may be the only pirate in history allergic to freakin' gold!

Long story short, I now have a lengthy list of chemicals that may or may not be causing my eczema, and now I have to start reading labels of soaps, shampoos, detergents, pesticides, paints, clothing, etc. looking for the likely culprit.

Your Captain suspects I know why Blackbeard was so grouchy!

Prepare the canon!