The Captain is so fed up with politics in the United States!
This week, some crazy-ass dude with an automatic rifle entered a Planned Parenthood office in Colorado Springs, killed three people and held another 45 captive until police prevailed and captured the “suspect”.
When his picture was released, for some reason my first thought was Gary Bussey and Nick Nolte…
But I digress…
In the wake of yet another senseless attack, it was
surprising to discover that our candidates for President were strangely silent.
You see, for several months now, the Republican candidates have been pandering to the “Pro-Life” right-wing of the Republican Party, going so far as to lend credibility to a bogus doctored video allegedly revealing that Planned Parenthood is harvesting organs from aborted fetuses.
Not surprising, some deranged acolyte decided to do something about it.
On the day of the attack on Planned Parenthood, the only thing we heard from candidates Marco Rubio and Rand Paul were promotions for their “campaign gear” which they are selling on their websites.
Ted Cruz, feeling the need to address the situation, resorted to name-calling, declaring that the shooter was a “transgendered leftist activist” instead of a right-wing knee-jerk pro-lifer.
Here’s what you need to know:
-The Center for Medical Progress, which created and released the doctored video about Planned Parenthood, has condemned the attack:
“The Center for Medical Progress condemns the barbaric killing spree in Colorado Springs by a violent madman. We applaud the heroic efforts of law enforcement to stop the violence quickly and rescue the victims, and our thoughts and prayers are with the wounded, the lost, and their families."
-The Right-wing organization, Focus on the Family, has condemned the attack:
The National Right to Life organization has condemned the attack:
"The pro-life movement works to protect the right to life and increase respect for human life. The unlawful use of violence is directly contrary to that goal."
Surprisingly, even right-wing anti-abortion candidate Mike Huckabee has denounced the situation as “domestic terrorism” and has called the whole event an “abomination”.
Unexpected applause for Huckabee.
Not surprising, as the events unfolded, FOX News interviewed their “experts” who bashed Planned Parenthood…
Even as the attack unfolded!
It is a sad state of affairs when Tony Perkins, the deplorable mouthpiece of the Family Research Council, is the voice of reason:
"Only through peaceful means -- not violence -- can we truly become a nation that once again values all human life, born and unborn."
Sadly, in the wake of accusations from both sides, clueless candidate Carli Fiorina insists her recent
lies rhetoric against Planned
Parenthood (based on a doctored video) had nothing to do with the shooting.
You don’t think all those people attending your rallies and cheering your every racist/ homophobic/xenophobic statement are listening to what you guys are saying?
In the meantime, Donald Trump re-tweeted a racist post that created a national stir. When called out about it, The Donald’s response was, “I can’t fact-check everything I post!”
And you want to be President?
Yes, this is the guy who says he will build a wall between the U.S. and Mexico using Mexican laborers… AND make Mexico pay for it!
This is the guy who will send millions of “illegal aliens” back to Mexico.
This is the guy who wants to make Muslims wear identification badges.
And he is the front-runner for the Republican Party!
Trump seems appealing to many because:
-he’s using his own money (not true) so he’s not beholden to anyone (not true).
-he says what he thinks (not true) even if that is offensive (true!).
-He is a successful businessman (not true), so he can “fix” America (not true).
In previous elections, at this point – when someone of his ilk would have been chased out of the race – he is still the front-runner!
And Trump has lowered the bar for the other candidates, who are trying to out-B***S*** the biggest B***S***-er of all!
Even Jeb Bush, once thought to be a shoo-in for the Republican ticket, has wishfully declared that while Trump is not a serious candidate, he would still vote for him.
In the meantime, on the other side of the aisle, Senator Bernie Sanders is trying to seriously address the critical issues our nation faces.
The Captain is fed up!
So today I am announcing my bid for President.
If you have been paying attention, my polling numbers are as good as half the field of Republican contenders.
And here’s my platform:
-Free money for everyone.
-Free healthcare for everyone. (And it’s not Obamacare!)
-More police on the streets to make us feel safe.
-Fewer arrests though, because… The Man!
-Improved infrastructure (that means better road, sewers, etc.)
-Save the environment without changing our habits.
-Lower taxes for everyone, but more government services!
-Own all the guns you want, but no one will need them because…
And you can say “Merry Christmas!” any time you want to!
And the Captain can promise all these things because apparently this year it doesn’t really matter if it is true or if the Captain can deliver on
of these promises.
All that matters is pandering to the masses…
No matter how “base” the base may be.
Lord help us!