There are few things that leave the Captain truly speechless.
This one, however, caught me by surprise.
From recent experience, I knew there were still some people
in the world who believe stuff like what I am about to report to you, but…
Well, it’s like when you see a mermaid for the first time.
Sure you’ve heard about them. But you’ve never actually seen one, all your friends are
skeptical, and so you’ve come to believe they don’t really exist.
And then one day one swims past you!
But I digress...
A friend pointed the Captain toward a blog that quite frankly
blew my mind! The site is called “Biblical Gender Roles”, with a subtitle “Peace
comes through living the way our creator designed us to”.
Grammar aside, the blog is an amazing collection of incredibly
misogynistic thought rationalized by a literal interpretation of an ancient
text.
Yes, I’m talking about the Bible, a book forever trapped in another time in another culture, but still help by some to be the ultimate and final Divine revelation on all matters related to human existence.
The author of all this crap (the blog, not the Bible) goes by the pseudonym “Larry Solomon”
– yes, self-named after supposedly the wisest man in the Bible.
“The reason I do not use my real name is the same reason
that Christ hid himself from Jews: ‘They took up stones to cast at him: but
Jesus hid himself, and went out of the temple, going through the midst of them,
and so passed by.’ – John 8:59 (KJV)”
Before getting into the details, let’s look at the titles of
some of his recent postings:
-“How a husband can enjoy sex that is grudgingly given
by his wife”
-“Should a Christian wife fake it?”
-“The Ten Commandments for a Christian marriage”
(We’ll
come back to this one…)
And the coup de grace, the post that was shared with me:
“7 ways to discipline your wife”
In a different context, that might be worth reading...
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| Captain's Note: For consenting adults only. |
Here, however, it has the worst possible meaning one could
imagine.
“As a Christian husband you cannot allow your wife’s
demeaning or disrespectful behavior to go unchecked because it is an affront to
God’s established order.”
In the twisted world of this author, the husband is the
God-ordained lord and master of the marriage. Wives are submissives, with the
specific role of staying at home to bear and raise children, and to provide sex
on demand for the husband’s enjoyment.
In fact, a disturbing number of posts on “Solomon’s” blog
are sex-related.
The Captain suspects there is a reason for that.
So, when and how should a husband “discipline” his wife?
First, this caveat
from the author:
“Discipline toward your wife should always start
with the gentlest approach first and only move toward harder forms of
discipline if the gentle approach does not yield results. Warnings should always
be given before harder types of discipline are implemented. You should
always pray and seek the Lord’s guidance before bringing these types of
discipline on his wife."
According to the blog post, a husband should discipline his wife for things like disrespecting him, overspending, failing to take care of the children or contradicting his authority with the children, watching too much television or spending too much time online, failing to take care of the home, and yes, denying him sex.
There he goes with the sex stuff again!
There is something seriously wrong with this guy!
So who is this guy and where does he get all these wacky
ideas?
“Solomon”…
Wait, I just can’t call him that…
That's more like it...
“Larry”, by his own admission, has had no formal training in
theology (outside of Sunday School), although “I have read through the entire
Bible several times and I have memorized many portions of Scripture.”
Larry believes Charles Spurgeon “was one of the greatest
preachers in modern history and wrote some of the greatest commentaries on
Scripture ever written.”
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| Charles Spurgeon, 1834-1892 |
Larry says, “I believe the Bible is the perfect, inerrant and inspired Word
of God from Genesis to Revelation. I believe that we must take the Scripture
literally unless the context is speaking symbolically (like in Prophecy) which
means the vast majority of Scripture is to be taken literally.”
So what does a literal interpretation of the Scripture mean
to a person who is divorced and remarried?
Oh, did I fail to mention that Larry is divorced?
Funny how some of the biggest religious crackpots can’t seem
to find Matthew 5:31-32 in their Bibles…
For Larry, it’s as simple as this:
“While I may fail to live up to the Bible perfectly (for
none of us does) – I do aspire to do my best to follow God’s design for my life
and for my marriage and family – in my own imperfect way.”
But what about what Jesus says about divorce?
“…while I agree that divorced men are forbidden from being
Pastors and Deacons there is no such prohibitions on simply teaching the Word
of God. These restrictions only apply to these local Church offices, not
to all believers who would teach.”
Ah. Sidestep the question. Redirect the conversation to suit
your beliefs. Got it!
Now, the Captain is not a psychiatrist, but I did sleep at a
Holiday Inn Express Friday night! And from what he writes, I would guess that
Larry’s first wife 1) didn’t share his interpretation of Scripture, 2) didn’t put
up with his misogynistic bullshit, 3) and didn’t help him get his rocks off as
often as he wanted.
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| "I'm not a tease; I'm just not that into you." |
How do I know this? Let’s look at just a few of his “10 Commandments
of Christian Marriage”:
#2 – Wives – Submit to your husband.
#6 – Wives – Ravish your husband with your sexual love, and
give your body freely to your husband whenever he needs sex.
#7 – Husbands – find sexual satisfaction in your wife’s body
on a regular basis, and give your body freely to your wife whenever she needs
sex.
Do I need to go on?
I could. Because Larry does. He goes on… and on… and on…
But I won’t.
You’re welcome.
Mates, take a word of advice from the Captain. Marriage is a
privilege and an honor for both husband and wife. It should be entered into
with mutual respect, love, and trust. It should be a partnership in which both
parties have the opportunity to contribute, to grow, and to flourish.
So fellas, treat your woman well. Respect her for who she is
and encourage her to aspire to be her very best.
And you will be blessed.
On the other hand, if you treat her like a servant, or
simply as a receptacle for your semen, or as a baby factory, you will never
know the joy of true love God designed for human relationships.
