Merry Christmas!

[The Captain apologizes for this belated Christmas greeting. A series of unfortunate events - as well as a major holiday - prevented me from updating Banana Winds these past few days. I'm still working on a borrowed computer - an Acer Aspire running VISTA! - but we hope to be sailing again soon. Stay tuned! In the meantime...]

Here's some Christmas cheer from 

the Captain and Krewe of Banana Winds!

 

Captain Dave's "Outrage of the Month"

Just when you think you’ve heard it all…

The London Telegraph reported this week that Saudi millionaire Ehsan Abdulaziz has been acquitted of a rape charge stemming from an August 2014 encounter with an 18-year-old.

According to the Telegraph, the 46-year-old Abdulaziz hooked up with two women (ages 24 & 18) at a fancy nightclub in London. After impressing them with his $2,000 per night table at the club, he took them both back to his London flat in his Aston Martin where he plied them both with more Vodka.

Abdulaziz, whose name ironically means “Servant of God”, led the older woman into his bedroom for sex; the younger woman passed out on his sofa.

Here’s where it gets interesting.

Or perverse…

Somewhere in the wee hours of the morning, the 18-year-old awoke to find Abdulaziz on top of her, allegedly raping her.

Yes, according to her, his penis was inside her vagina. 

And the rape kit found his semen inside her.

Case closed, right?

Not so fast.

Abdulaziz offered two explanations for how this could have happened:

1)    After having sex with the 24-year-old, he went out to offer the younger woman a T-shirt to sleep in or a taxi home. He claims she reached up and pulled him down toward her, placing his semen-smeared hand (from his previous conquest) between her legs.

2)    After having sex with the 24-year-old, he went out to offer the younger woman a T-shirt to sleep in or a taxi home. His penis was perhaps still erect and poking through his shorts and as he approached the sleeping woman he tripped, resulting in the unsolicited penetration.

“I’m fragile,” he pleaded. “I fell down...”

The Captain refers you back to the "fragile" 46-year-old in the photo above.

The jury took all of 30 minutes to deliberate and acquitted him of the rape charge.

ARE YOU FREAKIN’ KIDDING ME?!?!

It seems it’s that time of year for my annual Public Service Announcement.

Here’s the story I’d rather read, found this morning on Facebook [although, considering the source, this one is most likely a fabrication]…

The Captain wishes you all a safe and happy holiday season!

 

The Truth

The Captain is not an asshole.

This may surprise some people. Others may want to argue it.

All I ask for is the Truth.

I’m not talking about philosophical Truth.

"What is truth? It's such a changing law. What is truth? Are mine the same as yours?" 

Sorry. A momentary flashback.

 

Specifically, when you are posting or sharing something on Facebook, please, Please, PLEASE!... check first to see if it’s true.

It takes like… two seconds… to Google something these days.

This morning as I was surfing Facebook, I came across a post shared by a friend. It lamented the fact that the news today is full of murders and all kinds of other bad stuff (which is true), but no one has mentioned the death of a Medal of Honor recipient who passed away.

Indeed, the Medal of Honor recipient had a very compelling story of heroics in military conflict. His death – along with his life – should have been noted.

Unfortunately, when I checked it out, it turns out the Medal of Honor recipient died in 2008.

Maybe that’s why we haven’t heard anything about it recently…?

And then there was this one posted this evening:

I don't even know what to say about it.

Another item I came across from a different friend was a story written by a gentleman who claimed to be on a commercial airplane that served as a “dry run” for a terrorist attack. It was boarded by 11 Muslim passengers who were acting strangely, being generally disruptive, and disturbing the flight crew – to the point that the pilots disembarked and the writer of the story grabbed a stewardess and physically carried her off the plane… “for her own safety”.

Again, a Google search quickly revealed there is not corroborating evidence to support these claims.

Captain’s Note: The writer led off with a note saying all these events were covered up by the national media - which would explain why no one else has heard this - but he assures us he is reporting the truth.

The Truth is, the person supposedly writing the story was not even on the plane! At the time this incident allegedly happened, he was on another flight that would have arrived at the airport 40 minutes later.

And as it turns out, this story has been circling the internet since 2009.

In the first case, it doesn’t surprise your Captain that people have been uncritically passing along this story for the last seven years. We are tired of hearing the “bad news” and – especially if you are patriotically inclined – we want to lift up a story of a modern day hero.

But did no one check along the way to see if this was current events?

Now for all we know, the war hero could have been given a ticker-tape parade when he died. He could have been entombed in a gold casket. The President of the United States may have given his eulogy.

None of that happened, but it is quite possible that he was duly honored back in 2008. Why didn’t anyone check before passing along this post?

As for the second example, words simply escape me. Perhaps too much wine?

And finally, the third example. It truly pains your Captain to think that some poor misguided imbecile intentionally sat down and wrote a fabricated story about potential terrorists, unfairly casting Muslims as the villains and himself as the hero.

What’s the matter? Is your life too boring? You can only fantasize about being a hero?

Have you considered enlisting in the military?

Again, the Captain is not trying to be an asshole about this. I just want the Truth. Is that too much to ask?

Yet so much of what I read on Facebook is not true. So much of what I see on television these days is not the truth. So much of what I hear in the current political campaigns is simply not the truth.

Truth may be unpopular. In many cases Truth is boring.

But Truth is what it is. It doesn’t need your help. It doesn’t need to be embellished.

So please, check out the story before you pass it along.

Just tell me the truth. Always.

I might not like it.

[Thanks. I already know I have a growing bald spot!]

But if you tell me the truth, I won’t be left guessing what other lies you might be telling me.