Thursday, April 28, 2016

Much Ado About Nothing

Sorry about the delay between blog posts. The Captain has been busy recovering from vacation – “wastin’ away in Margaritaville” – all the while trying to make sense of the slew of “Potty Laws” that are suddenly flooding the states.

For those who have been stranded at sea or locked in an underground cell for the past few months, North Carolina has stepped in it big time.

Deep doo-doo!

And you would think others would smell the odors emanating from Raleigh and stay away! But no, Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, and others are swarming to this turd of a law like flies!

Have we all lost our freakin’ minds?!?

Now you would think that something this big was triggered by a major event… like what the Sandy Hook tragedy did for gun control.

Oh, wait. No one did anything after the mass shooting at an elementary school in Connecticut that left 28 dead.


But no, the current hysteria began because the city council in Charlotte, NC, voted to expand civil rights protection for the LGBT community.

That would be LESBIANS, GAYS, BI-SEXUALS, and TRANSGENDER persons.

Our friends. Our neighbors. Our co-workers. Our children.

That local bill included the right for transgender persons to use the public restroom of their choice.

No one was killed. Or even wounded. It just seemed the right thing to do.

But that’s when the politicians squatted!

The NC State Legislature, which has the power to override any law the cities write, came back from a scheduled election-year recess for a one-day session just to repeal the Charlotte law. In a rushed piece of shit legislation that was written, passed, and signed into law all in one day, trans-persons in North Carolina are now required to use the bathroom specific to the gender recorded on their birth certificates.

Let’s pause for a moment and take a deep breath as we let that soak in.

Meet Sarah McBride. She was born male. By the time she was 10 years old she knew she wanted to live as a woman. And she does. Every day of her life. She even married a man. But now, in North Carolina, she is required by law to use the Men’s Restroom.

Do we need to pause again?

The backers of this backward law claim it is to protect children from sexual predators – specifically men who would dress as women just to sneak into the Women’s Restroom for perverse purposes.

Not that this happened, mind you.

But it might, they argue… unless there is a law.

The Captain was a little befuddled last year when former pastor / conservative radio host / perpetual presidential candidate / homophobe Mike Huckabee made a statement that said more about himself than about the issue:

 (February 2015) “We are now in city after city watching ordinances say that your seven-year-old daughter, if she goes into the restroom cannot be offended, and you can’t be offended, if she’s greeted there by a 42-year-old man who feels more like a woman than he does a man,” Huckabee said in February at the National Religious Broadcasters Convention in Nashville in comments that were first reported by BuzzFeed on Tuesday.
“Now I wish that someone told me that when I was in high school that I could have felt like a woman when it came time to take showers in PE,” Huckabee said. “I’m pretty sure that I would have found my feminine side and said, ‘Coach, I think I’d rather shower with the girls today.’”
Really, Mike?

What a perv! 

Another conservative blogger described the trans issue as simple as her deciding one day to be Mexican and the next a 7-foot tall black man.

How ignorant is that?

Gender identity is not about a whim or a perversion. It is about people who feel psychologically more comfortable dressing and/or living as the opposite sex. 

And as with most things sexual, it makes some people uncomfortable.

Mike, I know you’re still angry about “The Crying Game”, but that was 1992. Get over it!

Gender identity is formed in humans as early as three years old, and it doesn’t always correspond with one’s genitalia. Some people struggle with the conflict between their feelings and societal expectations their whole lives, while others choose to risk the still prevalent public humiliation that such a lifestyle often brings with it.

And now, in a fit of hysteria, states are writing hateful laws about this small segment of the population that is so vulnerable.

The Captain might could believe the NC Legislature’s sincerity if they had not also snuck into the bill a line forbidding the setting of a minimum wage anywhere in the state of North Carolina.

They were apparently feeling particularly hateful that day.

Before moving on, let’s get this out in the open. Prior to this flurry of hateful legislation, trans people have used public restrooms largely without incident – probably because 1) no one could tell the difference, and 2) most people shut the door to the bathroom stall when they do their business. 

In fact, as a friend noted recently, if you know what the genitals of the person in the stall next to you look like, YOU are probably the one doing something wrong!

As expected, new reports in recent days have confirmed that women have been forcefully removed from the Women’s Restroom just because someone “thought” they looked trans.

The NC law does not specify punishment for the person caught using the “wrong” restroom, but Alabama has now added a $500 fine or 6 months in jail to its law.

For peeing in the “wrong” bathroom…

Mates, the reality is, unless someone is posted at the bathroom door checking IDs and inspecting genitalia, all the laws in the world will not make a bit of difference.

And only a real pervert would want that job.
Captain’s Note: According to a 2003 National Institute of Justice report, 3 out of 4 adolescents who have been sexually assaulted were victimized by someone they knew well… a parent, a family member, a teacher, a coach…

Isn't there something more important to get upset about?

Monday, April 18, 2016

We're Back!

The Captain and First Mate are back now from a much needed vacation! 

Wanna see slides from our vacation...?

More about that later.

So, what did I miss?

It seems the Earth has been shaking while we were away. Earthquakes in Japan and Ecuador. The Captain wonders who Pat Robertson is going to blame these on?

Maybe the Trans persons who want to use a public restroom? So more states are fighting over where a person can go pee? Hey folks, if she looks like a woman, she should use the women’s restroom. Or do you want to explain to your wife who that tall blonde was that came out of the john behind you?

Born male. Must use the Men's Room?
Ted Cruz put it to Donald Trump (OMFG!) in Louisiana, Colorado and Wyoming. And now that the Donald (OMFG!) is losing, he’s crying that the rules are not fair! Waaa!

Cruz, by the way, wants to restore America by moving us back onto the Gold Standard – basing the U.S. currency on the price of gold. Here’s the problem with that: 1) Gold is a commodity, which in January 2000 was priced at $300 per troy ounce and rose as high as $1800 in July 2011. It is currently selling around $1200 per troy ounce. 2) The Gold Standard helped bring on the Great Depression in the 1930s. 3) No other country in the world is on the Gold Standard anymore. [See #2.] 4) There’s not enough gold in the world to do this.

But other than that, it’s a great idea

And speaking of idiots, Sarah Palin is keeping her face in the news with more ludicrous statements for the media to consume. In the same way she was an expert on Russia during the 2008 election, she now is a self-proclaimed “expert” on Global Warming. Despite the consensus of NASA and 97% of the world’s climate scientists, Palin knows the earth is not getting warmer.

Because it is still cold in Alaska.

She even challenged the credentials of Bill Nye, a real scientist who has been very outspoken about human contributions to Global Warming.

And Palin reportedly took a shot at President Obama's foreign policies last week too, pointing out how the influence of ISIS is growing in nations like Agrabah.

That is the fictitious world of Disney’s “Aladdin”.

At least they have a genie! SMH!

The U.S. Treasury has decided to replace President Jackson’s image on the $20 bill instead of Hamilton’s image on the $10 bill, perhaps due to support generated by the popular Broadway musical “Hamilton”. 

It is still unsure who’s face will replace the dead president, but the Treasury Department noted it will take the next 14 years to create the new bills.

Which means the Captain will probably receive the first new $20 bill in his retirement check!

Dilma Rousseff, president of Brazil, has been impeached and may be removed from office. This just months away from the opening of the Olympic Games in that country – the preparations for which are still not complete.

And the water pollution issue has still not been addressed.

Not to mention the new scare about Zika-carrying mosquitoes.

The Governor of Mississippi just signed into law a bill which would allow churches to arm and train their own security forces.

Dennis Hastert, the longest-serving Speaker of the House, is on trial now for molesting four boys when he was a high school gym teacher. Hastert, you may recall, was the righteous crusader who led the impeachment proceedings against President Clinton for getting a blow-job in the Oval Office. Hmmmm…

And here’s the really funny part: he wants the judge to go easy on sentencing him because “the stress and public shame” has been punishment enough!

And finally, it is good to hear that God is still not dead. 

Yes, they made a sequel to that lame "God's Not Dead" movie from 2014. The premise for this one sounds just as lame.

Oh, and there was also this.

Please tell me this isn’t a thing…

So, all of that to say, we didn’t really miss anything, did we…

So, how was the vacation?

Six days at Margaritaville Hotel in Pensacola Beach, FL.

Sounds wonderful, right?

Truth is, for most of the week it was cold (65-68 degrees) and rainy (thunderstorms) with a constant 15-20 mph wind blowing.

It happens every time the Captain is looking for warm & sunny.

And it turns out that while we were in Pensacola, Jimmy Buffett made a surprise visit to Margaritaville Cafe in Nashville!

But we ate a lot of good food…

And drank perhaps a little bit of alcohol along the way.

What else are you going to do during a rainy week at the beach?

We managed a few long walks on the beach in between squalls (and one desperate attempt even while it was raining)…

We gathered the obligatory seashells to bring home…

And picked up trash that thoughtless vacationers left behind…

You're welcome...
And caught up with old drinking buddies…

The only buried treasure the Captain found was this priceless ring...

It's a Smiley Face mood ring.
...found in the sand at Landshark Landing when the rope on my hammock came untied and I crashed to the ground.
Didn’t spill my Margarita though!

In all, it could have been better, could have been worse. But as they say,

Even considering the weather, it was tough leaving the beach. But now it’s time to dry out and get back to work!