Mates, the Captain is just not feelin’ it this year.
Not even enough to write a “Bah Humbug!” post.
This is more of a “Meh!” post.
Did you ever watch the movie “Christmas with the Kranks”?
I’m not surprised if you didn’t. Critics were pretty much unanimous that it was a stinker.
Based on 130 reviews, Rotten Tomatoes gave it a 5% on the Tomatometer.
“A mirthless movie as fresh as last year’s fruit cake,
Christmas with the Kranks is a coarse, garish comedy
that promotes conformity.”
“In any normal year this dire comedy would be the undisputed lump of coal
in our psychic stocking, but coming on the heels of Surviving Christmas,
it’s a close second.”
-J.R. Jones, chicagoreader.com
You get the idea…
But, yes, the Captain liked it!
It doesn’t hurt that Tim Allen and Jamie Lee Curtis hold the starring roles.
Here’s the story line: Luther and Nora Krank are going to be home alone at Christmas for the first time in years. Their daughter is in the Peace Corps, stationed in Peru. So Luther, after reviewing the previous Christmas, suggests taking the $6,000+ they spent last year and apply it to a 10-day Caribbean cruise instead.
This means no Christmas decorations, no custom Christmas cards, no Christmas tree from the Boy Scouts, etc.
This makes a lot of sense to the Captain.
As usual, there is always a price to pay for bucking tradition – especially at Christmas – but the Kranks try their best.
Until their daughter calls on Christmas Eve to say she’s bringing her new Peruvian fiancé home to experience a traditional family Christmas.
Long story short, Nora quickly assembles “Christmas”, and a reluctant Luther Krank gives the cruise tickets to a neighbor whose wife is battling cancer.
|"God bless us, everyone!"|
Here’s the thing:
-The Captain and First Mate have no children. Never have, never will.
Oh, there are several beloved nieces and nephews, but we’ve pretty much come to the point that we don’t buy presents for them all because there are so many.
And they never visit, they never call…
And frankly, I can’t think of anything I want from “Santa” this year. Nothing to get excited about. We have good jobs, and a comfortable income which enables us to buy for ourselves most anything we want. “Exchanging Gifts” is reduced to simply granting permission to buy a more pricey toy that we would probably eventually buy anyway.
-I preach at three churches and none of them want a Christmas Eve service – a long-standing tradition for the Captain and First Mate. And with Christmas Day falling on Sunday this year, I am prepared for a disappointing church attendance as well.
-The First Mate will be away visiting her family the week leading up to Christmas, and she’ll be covering at the hospital on Christmas Day so others who have children will be able to be home with their families.
She's an angel!
-We both work long hours, so we would only get to enjoy our decorations between our typically late dinner and bedtime.
-Thus, the idea of climbing into the attic to retrieve boxes upon boxes of decorations – only to have to return them there once the decorating is complete – and reversing all that when Christmas is over – doesn’t excite me.
|Why is there a bed in the attic?|
-We have two new kittens, who have already demonstrated that no decorations will be safe in this house this year.
Captain’s Note: The average temperature for December in Ocho Rios, Jamaica, is 84 degrees.
|Honey, this could be us...!|
I have beloved friends who go all out at Christmas time with decorations and merriment. I have even had to restrain a couple of them to keep them from decorating their homes in September!
Which is fine if that is what they want to do, I guess...
But the Captain also has friends who will endure this season of merriment alone this year, due to death, divorce, distance, or other circumstances beyond their control.
Perhaps this year is the year I should realize that Christmas is not all about me…