The Home Office

 In November of 2019 we bought our first home. 

 Given time, it will look very different (a blog for another day), but the Captain and First Mate have become true landlubbers...

Three bedrooms, two baths. A large family room downstairs with a lot of unfinished space.

The Captain’s original idea was to convert one of the extra bedrooms to be my office. Living 40 minutes from my work, that seemed important.

And where I will one day write the great American novel.

Unfortunately, the remaining bedroom was only large enough for a twin-size bed. We needed the larger guest room, so I lost my office space.

So I set my sights on the unfinished space downstairs.

But first, the Captain bought a desk.

Now, the pandemic was just beginning and by the end of February local auction houses were experimenting with online auctions. There was one just a couple miles from us, so I went online to see what it was about.

For those unfamiliar with an online auction, photos of the items are posted on the auction house’s website. No details are given; a day is set aside for inspection if you want to see the item up close. Then the auction day comes. At an advertised hour, people begin posting bid(s). In real time one can see how others are bidding. At the designated closing time, the last bid posted wins.

Having a house to furnish, the Captain saw several items I was interested in, so I jumped in when the auction went live.

Most of the items I wanted were apparently wanted more by others and I quickly dropped out.

But then there was this large slab of a desk.

No character to it beyond a thin brass trimline across the front.

I had not gone to look at it on the inspection day, but the Captain bid $2.

No one else challenged that.

Perhaps a bad sign...?

Two days later we went to pick up our prize.

 It was heavy. Solid.

It was scratched and dirty.

It was water damaged.

The poorly-attached casters on the bottom were breaking away from the particle board base.

The drawers were filled with mouse poop.

The Captain was elated!

The First Mate was dubious.

We trailered it home, adding a few more scratches in the process as we wheeled it down the hillside and into the basement workroom, where it sat for nearly six months.

 The Captain had a vision. I knew what I wanted to do with it. As the vision grew stronger, I began losing sleep thinking about it.

Finally, I broke out the power tools and got to work.

Long story short, here’s the finished product!

 

Yes, it is the same desk.

A lot of the materials are reclaimed stuff I had on hand.

The stencils are hand-cut.

Next step is to build an appropriate office around that desk…

And my imagination is already at work on that!

Stay tuned!

 

 

Faith In Humankind Restored?

 It's the small things in life. Really.

While the Blowhard-in-Chief and his minions continue to daily undermine our trust in everything from Democracy to science to the Post Office and beyond, every now and then the Captain gets a glimpse of hope that our nation is not completely ruined.

Yet.

Yesterday, while traveling through my hometown, the Captain approached the newly-installed road configuration near the mall.

I say "new". It has been there almost a year.

It's called a "double crossover diamond interchange". 

Highway people say these are growing in popularity in several cities.

We just saw it as a major learning-curve for people who don't like change.

At each "crossover" are traffic lights which control the flow of traffic.

As I approached the first crossover yesterday, I discovered the traffic lights were out.

Well this should be fun...

But as it turned out, drivers were actually following protocol for when traffic lights are out: patiently taking turns crossing the intersection!

The Captain was astonished!

And traffic flowed almost as smoothly as if the lights were working!

Perhaps there is hope for us after all...

   

I Just Can't...

 Let me begin with this:

 As the November election approaches, the campaign speeches from the Right are getting ridiculous. 

V.P. Mike Pence yesterday tried to stir up fear that if elected, the Democrat V.P. candidate, Kamala Harris, would reduce the amount of meat you were allowed to consume.

But that is nothing compared to what his boss, President Trumpf, has been saying.

Trumpf this week declared that the Democrats want to tear down the Empire State Building.

He said Democrats want to get rid of animals.

All animals.

He said Democrats want to build buildings without windows...

I'm sorry. 

I.Just.Can't. 

 

Some Things You Just Can't Un-See

Let me begin by saying that the following has been all over the internet in recent days, but your Captain will cover his arse by saying “alleged” in reference to what I am about to write.

The photo you are about to see is probably “Not Safe For Work”, depending on where you work, I guess.

But since I had to look at it, I’m going to make you look at it too.

Because you need to see this.

For those with a weak stomach, you might want to look away.

The following photo was “allegedly” posted on and quickly removed from Jerry Falwell Jr.’s Instagram account.

It “allegedly” is a photo of Jerry Falwell Jr. taken at a party on his yacht.

“Allegedly” he posted it on Instagram himself.

According to the news, the “allegedly” wealthy and outspoken “alleged” son of a prominent Baptist preacher (now deceased) who is also “allegedly” the current President of a well-known “allegedly” Christian university “allegedly” held a “Trailer Park Boys” party on his yacht.

Captain’s Note: I had to Google “Trailer Park Boys”; I’ve never watched it, and now I don’t want to.

So, "allegedly" wealthy people making fun of poor people who live in a trailer park and are just trying to get by. I get it.

How Christian of you.

But don’t worry, he “allegedly” writes beneath the photo, the glass “allegedly” contains “black water”.

Captain’s Note: Again, I had to turn to Google. “Black Water” is either the putrefying liquids and solids you would find in a septic tank (that’s “poop” or “pee” for all the nine-year-olds out there), or it is the liquid found inside a used bong.

“It was a prop only.”

So let me see if the Captain has got this straight: the “alleged” President of a prominent “allegedly” Christian university posts a photo from an “alleged” “Trailer Park Boys” party / on his “alleged” yacht / of “allegedly” him “allegedly” standing next to an “alleged” woman who is not his wife / with his belly “allegedly’ exposed and his pants “allegedly” unzipped.

But no, those are definitely leopard-spotted briefs.

And this “alleged” President of a prominent “allegedly” Christian university thinks you are concerned about what’s in the glass?

Because, you know, drinking alcohol is a sin…

"Scott Lamb, a spokesperson for Liberty University, declined to comment on the authenticity of the photos or the appropriateness of Falwell being seen in such circumstances."

Lord help us all!