A news article popped up on my Facebook feed today.
A child in London was "plowed into" by a Royal Guardsman.
Knocked down.
"Stepped on".
The accompanying photo was this:
Honestly, they look like they’re trying to decide which one of them is going to put the boy out of his misery!
"No mate, you got to stab the last one! It's my turn now!"
Online outrage ensued in defense of the poor child.
"Nobody is safe!"
Others defended the Royal Guard, who were only doing what they are trained to do while on patrol.
I mean, isn't this the very thing tourists flock to see?
Then the outrage turned on those who defended the Guard.
"How dare you take sides against a child!"
"...even a snotty-nosed tourist child who gets in the way!"
The Captain was dubious.
First, the "child" pictured did not look like a "child".
The Captain would say more likely a teenager, but that doesn't get "clicks".
And frankly, teenagers should know better than to get in the way of the Royal Guard!
Then another news service shared the actual Tik-Tok video of the event. It looked like this:
Notice the difference?
The Guard - along with everyone else in the crowd - is dressed in winter gear, not the bright red Summer apparel of the first photo.
So the photo published with the story is not related to the current event at all.
And while the child in the video does look younger, he was not "trampled" by the Guard.
Yes, he was knocked to the ground - because again, he was in the way - but as you can see in the screen-capture, the Guard took extra care to step over him.
Captain's Note: The report also went on to say the Guard returned later to make sure the child was okay. But did anyone read that far...?
So here's the thing. Actually, two things.
First, when you go to the Tower of London to watch the changing of the Guard, stay the hell out of the way!
That's pretty much my rule of thumb for NASCAR, Old Faithful, and anything involving wild animals.
Captain's Note: Yes, a man was mauled by a tiger at the zoo in Naples, FL today when he stuck his arm through the bars of the cage.
According to Londontopia, royal protocol dictates that foot guards cannot smile or react to the public and the public should avoid touching them. In this type of instance, guards are allowed to shout at the public to issue warnings, which the video shows they did.
So save me your faux outrage and just stay the hell out of the way!
Second, journalism today has sunk to such an extremely pitiful low that, in order to generate more "clicks" and "hits" they will exaggerate any event, use inflammatory language in headlines, and print any photo that will bolster attention to sell whatever totally unrelated item it is they are peddling.
Captain's Note: Now hold on there, Mateys. That there is an important message.
Besides, The Captain has nothing to sell.
Happy New Year to one and all!