Saturday, February 27, 2021

American Idols


This one is easy to write.

The Captain’s outrage is palpable.

Last week, the Conservative Political Action Conference 2021 met in Orlando.

It’s the breeding ground for every right-wing Republican wanna-be politician.

As a mentor once told me, “Sometimes you gotta kiss a little butt.”

Then, as now, the Captain responded, “No, I don’t.”

But that’s what happened in Orlando this week.

A whole lotta butt-kissin'!

Into that mix they rolled this abomination.


Keep in mind, the Republican Party still enjoys the support of the Evangelical Christian leadership, despite the very anti-Christian things he has done and said.


You might have thought someone at CPAC had read a Bible at least once in their life.

The Captain can guaran-damn-tee you the rest of the world noticed.

Comparisons were immediately made to the story of the Golden Calf in Exodus chapter 32.


There, you may recall, while Moses was upon on Mt. Sinai receiving the 10 Commandments from God, the people convinced Aaron to craft a calf made of gold for them to worship. God sent Moses down to deal with them. Moses smashed the original tablets on which the 10 Commandments were inscribed, destroyed the golden idol, and sent the Levites throughout the camp to slaughter those who worshipped anything other than God.

It seems a fair comparison.

Sadly, we lack a person of Moses’ stature or of the Levites’ faith to deal firmly with the situation.

There is a second story in scripture that I think applies more.

That can be found in the Book of Daniel, a 2nd century B.C.E. book of prophecy.

Daniel is a popular book with Evangelicals when they want to predict the end of the world.

Not so much in more practical situations.

In the 3rd chapter of Daniel we read the story of Hanania, Mishael, and Azariah, more commonly known by the Babylonian names given to them: Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. They were three faithful young Jews who refused to kneel before a golden statue of King Nebuchadnezzar II. Given several chances, they steadfastly refused and were thrown into a furnace stoked so hot that it killed the guards who threw them into the fire. But as the story goes, the faithful three were saved by God; their clothing didn’t even smell of smoke.

Does anyone smell smoke...?

And, not to push the point too far, but the first two of the 10 Commandments (Exodus 20) are as follows:

#1 – I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery;  you shall have no other gods before me.

#2 – You shall not make for yourself an idol, whether in the form of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.  You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, punishing children for the iniquity of parents, to the third and the fourth generation of those who reject me, but showing steadfast love to the thousandth generation of those who love me and keep my commandments.

Apparently Republicans are more concerned about the Second Amendment than they are about the Second Commandment. 

Captain's Note: Guns are not allowed at CPAC.

Was there no one attending CPAC who saw this golden statue to be a problem? Anyone in the Evangelical community?

Have they just completely lost their FU**ING MINDS!?!

Captain's Note: That was a rhetorical question.

P.S. – It was revealed today the statue was crafted in Mexico. 

The artist insists it is not an idol.

Mateys, the jokes just write themselves.


 

 

Monday, February 1, 2021

Coffee Time!

 

Captain's Note: If you are a coffee drinker - which the Captain is not - you may find this post offensive. 

You've been warned!

The Captain has a friend on Facebook who is apparently addicted to coffee.

Several friends, actually. But I'm thinking of one in particular right now.

She begins every morning posting a blizzard of memes extolling the virtues of coffee...

Many of which lean toward the confession that she is unable to function without her magic elixir.

No, not just one meme. 

Three or four at a time!

the Captain wonders at times if it is a cry for help...

No, it is not an act. She actually drinks A LOT OF COFFEE!

Granted, an addiction to coffee is fairly benign. It can cause heart problems, and bad breath, but for the most part coffee won't kill you.

Coffee is probably the most widely-available beverage in the world. 

There are entire restaurants devoted to the glories of coffee.

Many grocery stores will offer you a free cup as you enter. 

And at most churches, the coffee pot is turned on before anything else.

But when the Captain started thinking about it in terms of addiction, my mind began to wander.

What other addictions might we share on social media? Would we get "likes" or frowns?

So I took a few coffee memes - straight from my friend's wall - and "doctored" them a little bit, expressing the same sentiment but for a different product.

Mine is the one on the right... (if you couldn't tell...)

What do you think?

Here are some more. First, the "Monday Morning words of encouragement" memes...


Here are some cute "Feel good" memes...



Here's a couple "don't talk to me until I've had my coffee" memes...


And finally, a popular t-shirt slogan...

To be sure, the Captain is sorely tempted to start flooding Facebook with non-coffee memes.

 But I'm afraid before too long there would be an intervention of some sort!

Captain's Note: But seriously, mates, most addictions are not a laughing matter. If you or someone you love has an addiction, call SAMHSA at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).