Do you remember “Pat” from “Saturday Night Live” in the early 90s?
“Pat O’Neill Riley” was an androgynous character that kept everyone guessing: Is it a man or a woman?
The real question we should be asking is, “Why does it matter?”
Perhaps it’s just a sign that the Captain’s getting old, but I find myself asking this question more and more.
Why does it matter?
In recent years, transgenderism has been in the headlines. Probably the first high-profile transition was Bruce Jenner’s transformation in 2015. As you may recall, Jenner won the Men’s Decathlon in the 1976 Summer Olympics. He was declared an “All-American Hero” and “World’s Greatest Athlete”!
“He” managed to cash in on that fame.
“He” “fathered” six children.
So when Bruce became Caitlyn, it naturally made headlines.
But again, why does it matter?
School systems today are struggle with whether to allow children who self-identify as “something other” to use the bathrooms of their choice.
Of course, the usual pervs (like Mike Huckabee) argue that boys would “self-identify” as female just to be able to go into the girls’ restroom or locker room.
Not likely!
Captain’s Note: It is even less likely that a girl would DO ANYTHING to be able to go into a boys’ restroom. The Captain doesn’t even like to go into a boys’ restroom! Eww! Gross!
Most recently, athletes are being called into question: Men who have transitioned to women are competing in women’s events (and vice versa), which some argue gives them a physiological advantage.
Some “red” states have passed laws to disallow this, not only checking the athlete’s “physical equipment” but doing blood and hormone tests as well.
Since it resonates with their backwater constituents, conservative lawmakers are keeping the issue stirred up. The latest stupid example is the preponderance of lawmakers asking, “What is a woman?”
One elected representative tried to enlighten us all: “X chromosomes, no tallywhacker. It’s so simple.”
Captain’s Note: Yes, this is the level of political discourse in our country today, when an adult Congressman is afraid to say the real word, “Penis”.
Another responded: “Someone who can give birth to a child, a mother, is a woman. Someone who has a uterus is a woman. It doesn’t seem that complicated to me.”
So a woman who is unable to give birth is not a woman?
A woman who has no uterus is not a woman?
Then what is s/he?
Many today want to exist in a strictly pre-scientific binary world in which physical characteristics and internal organs determine gender and sexuality.
But it really is more complicated than that.
Yes, that person may look like a woman, but in the world of science, he may not be.
But again, why does it matter?
Why does it matter if “she” wants to be called “he”?
Why does it matter if “he” wants to wear a silky dress to school or to work?
Sure he might make for an ugly woman.
But chances are he was ugly as a man too!
We all know that women have worn men’s clothes for decades now, not trying to “be” men but simply adapting men’s fashions to their needs.
And we’re okay with that.
Now.
And we probably know of some supposedly-straight men who sometimes dress as women, mostly for costume parties and such.
True story: At one church Halloween party, six older men came dressed as women; four of their wives dressed as old men.
And no one cared.
In that context they think it’s okay, even funny.
But the Captain suspects that somewhere deep inside they also enjoyed it.
Why does it matter?
In the strictly binary worldview of religious conservatism, men and women are viewed as serving separate roles in society. Men work, women have babies.
And as we know, women who enter the working world are often paid less than their male counterparts as punishment for crossing that line.
So the Captain wonders, do these people feel it is necessary to be able to identify a person’s gender so s/he can be put into a separate class of humanity?
So s/he can be paid less simply because?
So s/he can be denied certain privileges that others are given?
So s/he can more freely be abused and belittled?
Seriously. Please explain it to this ol’ Captain. Help me understand.
Why does it matter?
Why does it matter which bathroom they use?
Most bathrooms are equipped with stalls with locking doors. Unless you’re peeking, you don’t know who’s behind that door!
Are you afraid you might accidentally see the other person’s sex organs… and wouldn’t be able to control yourself?
Captain’s Note: I suspect this is also why women can’t breast-feed in public… because men can’t control themselves!
Why does it matter?
Why does it matter what sex organs are hidden under that dress or squeezed into those jeans?
In most business and social settings, you should never see those parts anyway!
It shouldn’t matter.
Unless you are planning to have sex with them.
Wait. Is that it?
You want to have sex with that person?
Or you are at least fantasizing about it?
You want to keep that option open?
As if.
Nonetheless, you need to know if they have compatible sex organs. If you can’t tell by the clothes they wear, or how they style their hair, then how will you know?
Because you certainly don’t want to be embarrassed to discover otherwise.
Oh yes, the Captain has seen the movie “The Crying Game”. (1992)
That awkward moment when Fergus discovers his beloved Dil has male parts. He punches her in the face then rushes to the bathroom to vomit! Yes, despite their growing friendship and mutual attraction to one another, Dil’s anatomy mattered to Fergus because he was planning to have sex with her!
Captain’s Note: To his credit, Fergus later realizes he loves Dil regardless of what she’s swinging!
The truth is, there is unnecessary sexual tension built into our society.
Men tend to size up women and put them into categories based on a perceived sexual potential. (I can’t speak for women here.)
There’s the uninvited catcalls, the groping, the comments – “I’d hit that!”
But if we don’t know…
"Hey, I’m not gay!”
Why does it matter?
After much thoughtful consideration, the Captain has decided (until otherwise informed) that society’s problem with transgenderism is about our failure to deal appropriately with our own sexuality, our homophobia, our fantasies and desires.
If we ever hope to move forward as a society – into a world where every person is valued and appreciated – we’ve got to stop thinking in simple binary terms and looking at others through a distorted sexual lens.
To quote a fellow captain,
And that’s all you really need to know.
