Yer ol' Captain apologizes for the language, but it seems like today the gods, the universe, or someone out there is seriously trying to piss me off!
This'll be short and sweet, because there's not really much I can say.
Captain's Note: Actually, there is a lot the Captain could say about it, but then I might lose my blogging privileges.
It began earlier in the week. The Captain discovered a Facebook post by actress Gillian Anderson. You might remember her from "X-Files".
Anderson (since the Captain is not on a first-name basis) recently acquired a baseball autographed by the great Ernie Banks.
Captain's Note: Stop and Google the name now if you are too young to know who he is.
Anderson wanted to help a favorite charity raise money, so she autographed the other side of the baseball and donated it for the upcoming charity auction.
The Captain just wants to know of Ms. Anderson, "What the hell is wrong with you!?!"
Let's just give a 3-year-old a crayon and make the Mona Lisa's smile a little bigger!
There! That should increase its value!
Or what about this jack-wad who decided to carve his and his girlfriend's names on the wall of the Colosseum in Rome?
Didn't your parents teach you better?
Your Captain remembers his very first blog - from way back in 2007 - in which I reminded myself,
"Fools' names and fools' faces are always seen in public places."
Perhaps the Polizia will explain that to you when they find you.
Oh yes, they know your name -Dumbass! - and your face is all over social media. It's only a matter of time.
And then I came across this unsolicited ad on my Facebook page.
The Captain has always wondered how Jesus stayed so trim!
In some depictions he's actually quite buff!
Verily, verily I say unto you, Mateys, nothing says "I believe in Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior" more than walking in his footsteps while trying to lose weight!
But weight! There's more! From the Ad:
Besides a lot of motivation here's what else you'll get:
Premium Metal
Finisher Medal
Track progress on
the Interactive Map with our mobile app
Virtual Postcards from
5 milestones
Local Spots from 4
attractions
Plant a real tree or
stop 50 plastic bottles from entering the ocean
with every 20% you complete
Custom Completion
Certificate
Access to our
Private Community
Sign up today and stay motivated!
I suppose one can earn extra points if you carry your own cross while doing it?
Okay, the Captain sees it's just a "virtual" thing.
That means you are not really walking "in the steps of Jesus".
And they will send you all kinds of meaningless shit if you buy their app.
But honestly, using Jesus as a weight-loss program?
Really?
Mates, I'm afraid we're all going to hell!
The attitude today seems to be, "Go big or go home!"
