What's On The Captain's Mind Today

Some of you may recall that the dictator-wannabe in Washington D.C. threw himself a military parade for his birthday which is going to cost us - yes, "We, the people" - around $45 million.

Even for him, that's one helluva party!

This is the party he wanted:

So let's check in and see how it went. 

CAPTAIN'S NOTE: Many of the pics below were captured from a YouTube video labeled "Insane Moments from the U.S. Army's Birthday Parade". 

Insane! 

 

This is the Reviewing Stand, somewhat reminiscent of a Texaco Gas Station.

The President, and other dignitaries (i.e. Cabinet members who were required to attend), sat behind bullet-proof glass.

The Captain wonders why that was necessary... 

Tanks moved slowly in single-file - how else were they going to make this abomination last two hours?!?

And note the "crowds" of people lining the streets!

"Official" White House count was 250,000.

Maybe that was in another block... 

Wait! Here's something insane! 

Robo-Dogs outfitted with Army flags! And pudgy handlers in their "Casual Friday" uniforms.

The Captain told you long ago these cuddly mechanical dogs that danced and did amazing tricks were actually being designed for military use. 

Who knew it would be "flagbearers"? 

And here is the Marching Band.

At least I think it is. 

Honestly, I have no idea what's going on in that photo.  

I thought these next two guys were going to start throwing candy or beads of something... 

Meanwhile, in a living room somewhere far, far away... 

And perhaps the President could hear them laughing at him.

Nonetheless, he put on his best Dictator look and stood to salute (someone).  

CAPTAIN'S NOTE: Let me just pause here for a moment and ask WTF! is wrong with this man!?!

A poorly-fitting blue suit and a red tie that hangs way to low!

No! The Captain read "Dress for Success" many years ago! 

But I digress...

The truly INSANE moment came when troops lined up in front of the Viewing Stand and recited their Oath of Enlistment:

I, "state your name", do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God.

Maybe that's why he needed the bulletproof glass...

So "INSANE"! 

*YAWN!*

Y'know, this old Captain is thinking what this parade needed was a little "Razzle Dazzle"!

"Boom Shakalaka!"

Seriously, couldn't they have invited Bill Murray?

The hard cold truth is, the American Military is not designed for fancy parades. It's designed to fight, not strut around like peacocks at the whim of a Despot. 

Meanwhile, across America and around the world, literally millions of people took to the streets in "No Kings" rallies, protesting the parade and the Dictator-wannabe.

Even as the White House lied about crowd-size for the Parade, they lied about the crowd-size for the protests, describing them as "miniscule" and "inconsequential"...

...if you think 20 million is "miniscule" and "inconsequential".

It is doubtful the President will ever hear the truth about the protests though. His ego is well-insulated by the lapdogs he has placed around him.

But all that said, that's not what's on the Captain's mind today. 

I found something far more disturbing over the weekend that I just need to get off me chest.

The Captain does a wee bit of online shopping. 

But I have found that it is difficult - nay, impossible - to determine the appropriate fit for clothing. 

I can't count how many times I have returned items that just were not the size expected.

I learned a couple years ago that an Xtra-Large Hawaiian shirt from China fits more like a Medium in the U.S. 

So I don't buy them from China.

Your basic size-chart from American companies often look something like this:

The Captain does not lie when I say an XL is appropriate, but I like my kit loose so I usually go with a 2-XL. 

CAPTAIN'S NOTE: As luck would have it, I bought a 2-XL Hawaiian Shirt from an American company and it fits like a 4-XL.

But over the weekend, I ran across the following size chart from an "international corporation", (aka China):

Damn! that's just cold!

 

 

 
 

Memorial Day 2025

Hey Mates! It’s Memorial Day weekend!

Time to go shopping for a new mattress!

Or hit the lake!

Bust out the grill! Enjoy some beer and brats!

I’ve seen it already: “Happy Memorial Day!”

Happy? That doesn’t sound like the appropriate sentiment for the occasion.

And all you active duty and retired soldiers and sailors – prepare yourself for all the quasi-patriots wanting to “Thank you for your service!”

 

CAPTAIN’S NOTE: Mates, unless you are standing in a cemetery, this is not the time for that!

But speaking of quasi-patriotism, in yer Captain’s home port there is a local business that buys an ad to be shown everyday during the early morning news broadcast.

They solicit members of the community to record a video of themselves saying the Pledge of Allegiance to the flag.

Some of them are just darling!

The four-year-old missing her front teeth, spinning around and waving little flags as she mumbles through the words.

The six-year-old who doesn’t understand what he is saying and neither do we because he mispronounces so many of the words.

It’s “indivisible”!

And then there are the groups of people – the VFW auxiliary, employees of the local nursing home, staff at the DMV – all flaunting their patriotism.

But one last week caught my attention and caused the Captain to shed a little tear.

It was a Sunday School Class from a local Baptist church.

Older adults facing an American Flag with their hand placed properly over their heart.

“I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America…”

I suspect they do this every Sunday morning before they begin their Bible lesson.

Now, perhaps it was the Captain’s evangelical upbringing, but it was drilled into my head and heart as a child that to be a Christian means you give your life to Jesus.

Every part of your life.

Hold nothing back.

In the Ten Commandments, God commanded the Israelites, “You shall have on other gods before me!”

It was Jesus himself who said, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your mind and with all your strength and with all your soul.”

It was Jesus who said, “You cannot serve two masters.”

It was Jesus who said, “A house divided against itself cannot stand.”

I took that to heart.

In high school, as the rest of the homeroom class stood and recited the Pledge, the young Captain-to-be remained seated and quietly read from his pocket New Testament that had been given to all the students in sixth grade by the Gideons.

Yes, back in those days the Gideons were allowed to enter the classrooms and hand out their little Bibles.

King James version.

CAPTAIN’S NOTE: The Gideons still hand out the King James version, not for theological or ideological reasons, but simply because it is in the public domain.

That means they don’t have to pay royalties to have it printed!

But here they are, in church no less, pledging their allegiance to something else.

No doubt they will point to “one nation under God” as the reason for their enthusiasm.

“See! The Pledge even says we’re a Christian nation!”

Actually, it doesn’t.

The phrase “under God” was added to the pledge in 1954. Although at odds with the general understanding of the separation of church and state, the rationale was that Abraham Lincoln used the phrase “under God” in the Gettysburg Address, therefore it must be okay.

“Under God” is not found in original manuscripts of the Gettysburg Address, but several eyewitness reporters wrote that he did say it.

But in the context of the Gettysburg Address, the phrase “under God” would mean “God willing”, which doesn’t at all fit the intention of the Pledge. 

Now, with no proof either way, yer Captain is guessing that that patriotic Sunday School Class reciting the Pledge is also chock-full of Trumpf Republicans.

I could be wrong.

But I am not.

So it is with unrealized irony that we hear them say the words “with liberty and justice for all”.

I’m just going to leave that there for now…

Yer Captain has moved away from his evangelical roots over the years, but it still strikes me as odd when I see Christians pledging their ALLEGIANCE to a flag.

It also strikes me as odd when I see police departments with “In God We Trust” emblazoned across the back of their cruisers.

Does that mean they are unarmed? Not wearing bullet-proof vests? They don’t call for back-up?

I mean, if you claim to trust God, why would you need those things?

If you recall, Candidate Trumpf claimed God redirected a bullet intended for him.

That bullet struck and killed an innocent bystander instead, but that's not important.

But I digress…

Truth be told, yer Captain doesn’t even like making Christian children recite the Pledge to the Christian Flag or the Pledge to the Bible.

That just smacks of idolatry.

And it really bugs me that our denominational publishing house sells little prayer cards featuring all three!

But here’s the kicker! That Sunday School Class? Dividing their allegiance between God and a flag?

They ended the Pledge with “Amen”!

Not in the original - or any - text!

So not only are they dividing their allegiance between God and the American flag, they are more or less praying to the flag too!

O, them Golden Calves are sneaky little devils!

 

Mates, on this Memorial Day, go ahead and have your celebrations with family and friends.

May the weather be ever in your favor!

But don’t just mumble the word of a Pledge you don’t understand and think you've done your patriotic duty.

I hope you’ll take a moment to reflect on and remember those who gave their lives to protect this nation and the freedoms that are so quickly being stripped away from us.

“With liberty and justice for all.”

Indeed.