The Captain Is Pissed!

“I [state your full name], Do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God.” 

This is the oath of enlistment recited by every person who seeks to join any branch of the U.S. military. 

It is the same oath that Ashli Babbitt swore when she enlisted in the Air Force in 2004. She served our nation for 12 years, achieving the rank of Senior Airman. 

CAPTAIN'S NOTE: The consensus is that Senior Airman is not a lot to show for 12 years of service, but who am I to say? 

Her life after the Air Force was filled with run-ins with the law, and her mindset switched from supporting Barack Obama to blindly following Donald Trump. There is much the Captain could say about her personal life, but that's not really relevant to our point here today.

On January 6, 2021, Babbitt was in the crowd that assembled outside the Capitol Building as Congress prepared to certify the election and declare Joe Biden the next President of the United States. Failed President Trump stirred up the crowd (some perhaps gathered there for this very purpose) and they stormed the Capitol Building with the intention of disrupting the certification.

Call it a "riot", call it an "insurrection", call it an "attempted coup", it was anything but peaceful. They were definitely not just "tourists" as many Republicans tried to claim later.

As chants of "Hang Mike Pence" filled the hallways, the Vice President was whisked off to a secure location while Representatives and Senators from both parties sought cover.

CAPTAIN'S NOTE: That's Josh Hawley (R-MO) running for his life. He later denied it, but there's video. 

The Capitol Police were unprepared, and the President (who incited the riot) refused to call in the National Guard for reinforcements. More than 100 Capitol Police were injured, some died.

As the mob surged toward the chambers where the certification was supposed to be taking place, the police ceded ground. The mob reached the doors to the Speaker's Lobby and began breaking glass to get through. That's when Babbitt attempted to climb through the broken window, despite multiple warnings from the Police that they would shoot.

Babbitt was shot in the shoulder. EMTs were immediately called and she was rushed off to the hospital, where she died.

The police officer who shot her was cleared; an inquest declared it was a clean shooting.

Hundreds of rioters were identified and arrested in the months that followed. Many of them went to prison.

Then Trump was re-elected. He pardoned all the rioters.

The family of Ashli Babbitt sued the government for wrongful death, assault and battery, and negligence.

I mean, if no one else was held accountable for the riot, then Babbitt's death had to be unjustified, right? 

In May 2025, the Trump Department of Justice settled with the Babbitt family for nearly $5 million.

Today it was announced that Babbitt would be afforded the privileges as a U.S. veteran to be buried with honors at Arlington National Cemetery. 

And yet, this month the DOJ attempted to press felony charges against Sean Charles Dunn for throwing a Subway sandwich at at Customs and Border Patrol agent. 

Ouch! That had to have hurt! 

Fortunately, a Grand Jury dismissed the charge as ridiculous. 

So what is the takeaway from January 6th and the Ashli Babbitt case?

For the Capitol Police and others who attempted to defend the U.S. Capitol and Congress, the answer is, "Why bother?" The very people they tried to protect quickly turned on them, made them the bad guys. 

We all watched this unfold on live TV. Only an idiot would believe the twisted tales the MAGA Republicans are telling now. 

For those military personnel who have served with valor and have lived honorably afterwards, this is a slap in the face. If a traitor like Babbitt can be buried at Arlington alongside our national heroes, then Arlington has lost its honor.

For the average schmuck on the street who doesn't give a flying fuck about our government, the Constitution, or the rule of law, this is a "Get Out Of Jail Free" card. You can bet there will be riots following the next election too, and many will participate with the full expectation that they will be pardoned.

Maybe receive a large Pay Day as well! 

Mates, our government is broken.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

But What About the Epstein Files?

In my 60+ years on this planet, this ol' Captain has never seen a President who feels the need to comment and/or control every little f***ing thing! 

This big orange felonious menace we've got now sits up late at night firing off often illegible posts about literally everything!

No doubt looking for some way to draw our attention away from the Epstein Files. 

This week it was about the cosmetic changes at Cracker Barrel. 

Not that POTUS has ever eaten at a Cracker Barrel, but he seems chapped that the company has removed the ol' cracker sitting by the barrel from it's logo!

A facelift is also taking place inside the restaurant. The dark walls once covered by country antiques... 

 

 

...have now been painted white and stripped of most of the tchotchke, creating a cleaner, brighter atmosphere.

 

Good Lord, now you can see what you're eating! 

From the looks of their promotional pics, they are wisely targeting a younger audience, since their base is quickly dying from the massive cholesterol buildup in their arteries.

Of course, POTUS is only repeating what he has heard other people say, like a pastor I once knew who became popular simply by seeing which way the wind was blowing then rushing out to get in front of it.

And the people who eat at Cracker Barrel [not yer Captain] have definite opinions. 

About everything! 

Honestly, the Captain sees this as a sign of desperation at the corporate offices. A family-friendly mainstay at highway off-ramps since 1969, the restaurant recently started selling beer and alcoholic drinks.

Now they're apparently going for the "hip" look.

If you remember, the Ruby Tuesday restaurant chain (among others) followed a similar path into oblivion.

If Cracker Barrel restaurants were to close today, me dear ol' mother would be disappointed. 

But that's about it.

In the meantime...

UPDATE: Just as quickly as Cracker Barrel announced the change, they have announced they will be going back to the previous signage, due to public outcry and the loss of $100 million in stock value! 

CAPTAIN'S NOTE: No, the President weighing in [see what I did there?] on this contrived controversy did not cause the company to change its mind. As mentioned above, he simply saw which way the wind was blowing and got out in front of it... then he took credit for it. 

 

 

 

 

 

Update Update!

I know! I know!

It has been almost a month since the Captain’s last post here.

Well, yer Captain has been busy with “Life”, and July just passed me by.

But for those poor misguided fools who count on Banana Winds for news and information, here’s a small taste of what you missed:

-The Epstein Files were a big campaign issue for Trumpf and the MAGAts. They all hoped the files would contain a Client List that would name Democrats who traveled to Epstein’s private island to diddle little girls. Trumpf promised to release the files if elected. When asked about it recently, Attorney General Bondi said the Epstein File was on her desk and would be released soon. But apparently someone discovered the names of prominent Republicans populated the list – possibly even the President!

And suddenly the files no longer exist! The outcry from both Democrats and MAGAts became deafening, causing the House Majority Leader to recess a day early in hopes we will all forget about the Epstein Files by the time they return a month later. And since there are no files, Ghislaine Maxwell would like to be released from her 20-year sentence for procuring young girls to service Epstein and his clients. Maxwell is likely being coached by White House handlers, but she wants immunity to tell her story - which won't happen, Nonetheless, this last week she was moved to a minimum security prison. In the meantime, Trumpf has been making outrageous claims in an attempt to deflect to other issues. This time it is not working.

-Upon taking office, Trumpf took control of the Board of the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts. He plans to redecorate to his taste. (See Oval Office pics below.) Now his sycophants want to rename the Center after Trumpf and the related Opera House after the First Lady – not that either have contributed significantly to the arts (unless you count Melania’s modeling career). 

This proposed name change may or may not be legal, but then, when has that ever stopped Trumpf?

-Trumpf has also signed Executive Orders making him the head of task forces concerning the 2026 World Cup and the 2028 Olympics. 

This should add an interesting twist to these fabled contests as just last month the State Department denied the necessary visas for the Venezuelan team to enter the U.S. for the Little League World Series. The Captain can foresee very successful sporting events as the President refuses to let in teams that might beat the U.S.

-Trumpf blatantly asked several states to do a mid-decade gerrymander to give him five more Republican seats in the House. Texas was the first to suck up to him, so Texas Democrats fled the state to break quorum and prevent the bill from being voted on. The Texas Governor has made all kinds of threats against the Dems, even issuing arrest warrants (which are no good outside of Texas). The Dems tactic here is similar to the House Majority Leader taking a recess a day early to avoid having to call a vote on the Epstein Files. (Have I mentioned Epstein already?)

-Trumpf has added his gaudy touch to the Oval Office (see photo below), and just recently completed the paving over of the lawn in the Rose Garden. His next plan is to tear off the East Wing of the White House and build a 90,000 square feet ballroom. And no one is lifting a hand to stop him.

 -The Department of Defense announced it would stop sharing weather satellite information with NOAA and storm trackers and such, just as we enter hurricane season. And since funding for FEMA has been cut, folks in hurricane-prone areas better take shelter NOW!

-The White House has also ordered the termination of two NASA satellites that have been tracking climate change, collecting data on human-generated carbon dioxide, information which is also used by oil and gas companies and farmers. That program only costs NASA $15 million per year, but the order that came down is not just to shut down the program but to destroy the satellites as well. Apparently someone doesn’t want facts to interfere with his agenda.

-Oklahoma State School Superintendent Ryan Walter was caught by two school board members with porn on his TV. He denies it was his, going so far as to claim the Governor put the board members up to discredit him. Walter, as you may remember, this is the guy who ordered Bible-reading and mandatory prayers for Oklahoma schools – with Bible requirements so tightly written that only The Trumpf Bible would fit the order.

-After a shady deal between Trumpf and CBS, CBS then announced the end of “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert”, a major Trumpf critic who also openly criticized the CBS deal. The President’s relationship with Epstein has been a frequent target of the late-night comedian. CBS claims it was a financial decision – likely necessary to cover the network’s multi-million dollar bribe to the President.

-This past week the Bureau of Labor and Statistics released the latest jobs report. It was lower than Trumpf expected. To make matters worse, the BLS down-graded two previous months. So Trumpf fired the messenger, Erika McEntarfer. He will replace her with someone who will report numbers (real or imagined) more to his liking. 

-Over the weekend Transportation Secretary Sean Duff announced his plan to build a nuclear reactor on the Moon. No, I don’t know why. And, while technology has possibly changed since Three Mile Island, the Captain wonders, doesn’t a nuclear reactor need water? Lots of water? Is he going to make a 240,000 mile hose to siphon water from the Pacific Ocean?

But here’s the story that actually caught my attention today and inspired me to write. Blaise Ingoglia, Florida’s chief financial officer, has been doing D.O.G.E-type work in Florida. But he wants to change the name of the agency to  “Florida Agency for Fiscal Oversight”. 

For those who like acronyms, that would be “FAFO”. 

CAPTAIN'S NOTE: In more contemporary usage, that stands for "F*ck Around and Find Out"! 

And that’s pretty much where we are today, mates.

Oh, did I mention the Epstein Client List yet? 

I did? Oh, ok.

Have a great week!