I am a cynic.No, not in the Greek philosophical sense of the word.
Philosophically, I would lean more toward “Epicurianism”.
Epicurius (3rd century B.C.) taught that humans simply live and then die – so while one is alive, one should seek to maximize pleasure and minimize pain. Unfortunately, Epicurius leaves God out of his philosophy.
But generally I am cynical. That is, I usually don’t trust anything or anyone until they prove themselves trustworthy.
And I can usually find the dark cloud in front of every silver lining.
It’s not something that I’m necessarily proud of. But in our world today, I wouldn’t choose to be any other way.
I have been cynical most of my life. When I was in college, I sat up late one night watching a televangelist out of New York. He was interesting, to say the least. His name was “Rev. Ike”. I mention this here because Rev. Ike passed away on Tuesday of last week at the age of 74.
Born Frederick J. Eikerenhoetter II, he shortened his name when he moved his congregation into a movie theater in Harlem – “Eikerenhoetter” wouldn’t fit on the marquee!Rev. Ike was a major proponent of the prosperity gospel. That is, God wants you to be rich! God wants you to live in a big house, drive a nice car, eat fancy dinners – just like Rev. Ike! USA Today quoted him as having once preached: “If it’s that difficult for a rich man to get into heaven, think how terrible it must be for a poor man to get in. He doesn’t even have a bribe for the gatekeeper!”
That night, Rev. Ike promised to send out a “prayer coin” to everyone who called in. I couldn’t resist. I made the call. Just to see.
To be fair, I also once sent a dollar to Jerry Falwell, just to see. What happened was that for the next three years I was besieged by junk mail from Falwell, Liberty Baptist Church, the Moral Majority, the National Rifle Association and the Republican Party.
Not a dollar well spent!
A short time after my call to Rev. Ike, I received a letter in the mail. Enclosed was a photo-copy of two quarters and the instructions to pray over these “coins”, presumably asking “God” for material wealth. I was to place one in my wallet and mail one back to Rev. Ike – along with a donation of $10 or more – and my prayer would come true.
Yeah, right.
The instructions also sternly warned: “Whatever you do, do not keep both coins!”
Foolish me, I kept both coins… which might explain why the riches never came!
Cynical.
Fast forward to the present: Recently, a church member sent me an email with an audio link to “The Fred Thompson Show”. I didn’t even know such a show existed.
A woman – supposedly an “expert” – was deriding the current healthcare reform bill with a near hysterical intensity. She cited a specific passage in the bill and described it as the government requiring older adults to receive counseling every five years on how to refuse medical treatment. She stated that this bill was an attempt to save medical costs by denying healthcare to our older adults.The church member who sent me the email was concerned and thought we ought to alert the congregation. I listened to the commentary, then read the actual healthcare reform bill.
But as I understand it, that portion of the healthcare reform bill currently before the House simply offers older adults a no-cost opportunity to address end-of-life issues with a trained counselor. Topics to be covered would include living wills, advanced directives, durable powers of attorney, etc., but nothing in the bill suggests that the government will require or even strongly recommend older adults to sign a DNR.
But who are you going to believe? A talk show “expert” or the actual bill itself?
See, I am a cynic!
Then came this article from USA Today, July 31st. The headline read, “Methodists defeat gay-related membership policy”. The lead paragraph declared, “United Methodists have defeated amendments that would have made church membership open to all Christians regardless of sexual orientation…”
Funny how they worded that: “…all Christians regardless of sexual orientation…”
What the newspaper article failed to report was that the amendment was intended to replace a growing list of those whom we do not discriminate against (age, race, gender, etc.) with a statement that we simply do not discriminate… period.
[P.S. - My colleague Sky, of "Kyrie Eleison" fame, has informed me that USA Today misunderstood a news article from United Methodist News Services, which itself jumped the gun and declared the amendments defeated among the American annual conferences... although 29% of the votes are still not counted. However, there are 73 annual conferences outside of the United States that also get to vote, and the final results will not be known until Spring 2010.]
But many in the church (apparently a majority) saw this as having a homosexual agenda – and perhaps it did. I saw it as living up to our denominational advertising campaign: “Open Hearts, Open Minds, Open Doors”.
And living up to the call of Christ.
Unfortunately, many are not as cynical as I am.
--Many good people continue to seek blessings by sending their “prayer coins” to televangelists.
--Too many uncritically accept the “expert” opinions that fill the airwaves today.
--Far too many have read the USA Today headline and now think all United Methodists are “anti-gay”.
Nothing could be farther from the truth.
Take it from me, a cynic.