So this week in the news:
-The White House has floated a plan to pay women $5,000 apiece to have babies.
Wow! A whoppin' $5,000 per kid!
Women will all quit their jobs and become baby-factories!
Barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen!
Making America great again!
That's what you all voted for, right?
Isn't it...?
Apparently, according to the White House, there is a shortage of babies in the U.S.
Or at least a shortage of white babies!
Wait! Did I say the white part out loud?
The Captain just assumes this “bonus” will be limited to white women - who currently have the resources and education to not bring babies into the racist MAGA dystopian future - but that has not been made clear yet.
CAPTAIN'S NOTE: That is not to say women of color do not have resources and education. It is to say MAGA doesn't want more babies of color.
But maybe this is somehow connected to the rescinding of child labor laws in so many states?
-They also want to pay $1,000 for immigrants to self-deport.
Frankly, I find the price tag demeaning.
Like the scholarship I got for seminary - $500 per year if I could maintain a certain GPA!
That didn't even cover books, much less the margaritas!
The Captain wonders where all this extra money the President is tossing out to the teeming masses is coming from…
-The Newark Liberty International Airport is struggling thanks to the cuts the Trumpf administration has made to the FAA. Air traffic controller shortages and walkouts are making it a dangerous airport into which to fly.
"It looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue!"
United Airlines has proactively suspended all flights to Newark as a result.
As with so many other aspects of American life now, you travel at your own risk!
-Over the weekend a White House official admitted that a recession may be coming, but it will be necessary to rid us of “the Biden economy”.
As noted in last week’s post, the 4th quarter 2024 GDP was 2.4% up (under Biden); the first quarter 2025 GDP was down .3% (under Trumpf).
Of course, the President easily and elegantly explains why:
“I think the good parts are the ‘Trump economy’ and the bad parts are the ‘Biden economy’ because he’s done a terrible job."
It couldn’t possibly be the Trumpf tariffs though, which have shut down virtually all international shipments to the U.S.!
And today he announced a 100% tariff on foreign-made films!
Lord help us!!!
But, according to the President, children don’t need all the stuff they get at Christmas anyway:
"I don't think that a beautiful baby girl needs – that's 11 years old – needs to have 30 dolls," Trump told "Meet the Press" host Kristen Welker. "I think they can have three dolls or four dolls because what we were doing with China was just unbelievable. We had a trade deficit of hundreds of billions of dollars with China."
This from the man who posts mean tweets late at night while taking a dump on his golden toilet!
-He wanted to send U.S. troops to Mexico to help fight drug cartels, but Mexico’s President Claudia Sheinbaum shut that down quickly:
“Sovereignty is not for sale. Sovereignty is loved and defended.”
-He still wants to steal Greenland and has stated that the U.S. should be allowed to use the Panama Canal and the Suez Canal for free.
Not going to happen!
-He has thrown in the towel on making peace between Ukraine and Russia. His “Art of the Deal” involved giving Russia control of Crimea and the territory they have captured in the current war.
In the late 1930s, such a "deal" with Nazi Germany was called "appeasement".
It didn't work for Neville Chamberlain.
It won't work now.
And to keep the U.S. on the side of Ukraine (without actual military support), Ukraine would have to give the U.S. special access to its deposits of rare earth minerals.
Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelenskyy responded, “We will continue fighting for our nation.”
Trumpf now says his campaign boast that he could end the war in 24 hours was “said in jest”.
Not funny.
-Trumpf has admitted he did not read the Supreme Court order concerning the return of Kilmar Abrego Garcia.
He said he just took the word of his Deputy Chief of Staff Stephen Miller that he didn’t have to bring Abrego Garcia home.
For what it's worth, Miller does not have legal immunity and should be prosecuted.
-And now the multiple felon-in-chief has ordered Alcatraz Island to be reopened to house criminals again.
Alcatraz, the infamous penal island off the coast of San Francisco renowned for being virtually escape-proof – because it is an island – was closed in 1963. It is now a museum operated by the National Parks Service, whose budget has been drastically cut by DOGE.
Alcatraz Museum showcases the cell of one of its most famous inmates, gangster Al Capone.
You may recall that despite a long career of gambling, prostitution, bootlegging, bribery, narcotics trafficking, robbery, “protection” rackets, and murder, Capone was ultimately convicted of income tax fraud.
Perhaps the felon-in-chief would like his cell?
The Captain could continue, but this is getting tedious.
Which, I believe, is why he is doing it.
Some believe all this proves he is mentally unstable. I don't doubt that, but I think all of this turmoil is intentional.
Back during the presidential debates, candidate Trumpf’s debate technic was identified as “Gish gallop” – a rhetorical technique in which a person in a debate attempts to overwhelm an opponent by presenting an excessive number of arguments, without regard for their accuracy or strength, with a rapidity that makes it impossible for the opponent to address them in the time available.
The Captain believes this continues to be the President’s tactic, just stretched out into a longer game.
Which makes the Captain wonder what’s really going on in Washington.
Who is really calling the shots?
Some say Putin. Some say Elon Musk. Some say Stephen Miller. Some say Netanyahu.
Maybe all them have a hand on his strings!
And what is he really obfuscating?
In the news today it was reported that Israel has announced plans of a takeover of Gaza.
Oh yes. Did you forget there is still a war going on in the Middle East?
Israel’s latest plan is to forcibly relocate Palestinians to the South and take control of Gaza.
Israel is telling the 2.1 million Palestinians it is for their own safety.
They must disarm and dissolve all forms and any hope of self-government.
To effectuate this, Israel is continuing its military bombardment and is restricting the flow of humanitarian aid into the area.
Palestinians will have no other choice but to leave.
And then the Trumpf organization will be able to realize their wet dream of building a big, beautiful Trumpf Resort on the scenic shores of the Mediterranean Sea.
No, the Captain doesn’t believe this is what it is ALL about.
But I am convinced this is a big part of it.
Mates, here’s my point: we can’t dismiss the daily barrage of intentionally-generated crises that flows from the White House.
They are each a real and present danger!
But we have to pull back the curtain and see what’s really going on while we are being distracted by all the bullshit.
