Just Calm Down!

CAPTAIN’S NOTE: For the sake of full disclosure, years ago when yer Captain was exploring ministry and needin’ to decide on a college and seminary, Asbury College and Asbury Seminary were, in fact, considered, largely due to their proximity to home.

Both schools were quickly rejected when the young Captain-to-be discovered students at both institutions lived under a strict dress code: shirt and tie for male students, dresses for female students.

Such a code was indicative of a much more conservative mindset than I was looking for.

I was not wrong.

* * * 

About two weeks ago news broke that the United Methodist University Senate has removed Asbury Theological Seminary from its list of UM-approved schools.

And you would have thought the world was coming to an end!

With this announcement, evangelical publications took to the internet to decry the decision.

In one lopsided and ill-informed article after another, they characterized the decision as “The UMC kicked out Asbury”.

They blamed the progressive changes that took place at the General Conference in 2024 (more on that later) and praised Asbury for holding fast to the faith! 

What was missing from most of these articles was an explanation of the United Methodist side of the story and how this all works.

Yellow Journalism rarely cares about the facts.

Naturally, a firestorm has ensued.

Commenters were mostly Asbury supporters because, well, who else reads evangelical publications?

They self-righteously declared the United Methodist Church has lost its way.

They condemned the UMC as being “apostate”.

They went so far as to say that the UMC is no longer “Christian”.

They pointed out that this expulsion of Asbury ignores the two great Holy Spirit-led revivals that took place at Asbury College (1970 and 2023).

CAPTAIN’S NOTE: In fact, Asbury College has a long history of events which they have labeled “Revivals”: 1905, 1908, 1921, 1950, 1958, 1970, 1992, 2006, 2024.

Not sure any of that is relevant.

Gather around, mates, and I’ll tell you what you need to know. 

The University Senate is an accrediting agency for the denomination, ensuring consistent instruction, policies and practices among the 13 UM seminaries and 25 non-UM seminaries. Approved schools must be compatible with UM theology and social principles, and they must offer courses in UM history, theology, and polity for ministerial candidates.

Asbury Seminary has always been the most conservative seminary among “The Big Thirteen” approved by the University Senate.

As such, Asbury could not and would not abide with the changes at GC2024.

So what happened at General Conference 2024?

The UMC has long maintained that “all people are made in the image of God and possess equal worth, dignity, and value.”

Yet this statement conflicted with other legislation inserted into the Book of Discipline in the early 70’s by a conservative faction that sought to deny certain rights to gays and lesbians. That wording called homosexuality “incompatible with Christian teachings.”

CAPTAIN’S NOTE: Ironically, the only other place “incompatible with Christian teachings” was found in the Book of Discipline was its position on war.

Yes, The United Methodist Church “officially” believes war is incompatible with Christian teachings.

Yet how many of UM churches have brass plaques honoring their members who died in war? How many insist on singing “The Battle Hymn of the Republic” and “A Mighty Fortress Is Our God”?

Over the years, conservatives inserted more and more into the Book of Discipline, including the forbidding of same-sex marriage - even adding a penalty for UM pastors who presided at gay weddings, and forbidding the ordination of gay and lesbian candidates for ministry. 

CAPTAIN'S NOTE: Why do conservatives and evangelicals worry so much about what's in a person's pants? It seems irrelevant... unless you want to get into that person's pants...

Not Muslim. Not gay. Not drag. 😙

Infighting over homosexuality grew to the point that a special-called General Conference in 2018 allowed a brief window for the departure of churches that wanted to leave the denomination.

It was intended to set the progressives free.

It was the conservatives who left!

With them out of the way, the 2024 General Conference delegates approved ordination and other permissions for gays and lesbians, once again proclaiming the denomination's belief that all people possess equal worth, dignity, and value.

CAPTAIN’S NOTE: The seminary I ultimately chose, the uber-liberal School of Theology at Claremont, was already on-board with this - as early as the mid-80's - offering theological training for gays and lesbians even though the UM denomination would not let them move forward with ordination.

But that’s not the whole story. Because Asbury Seminary was out of step with the denomination, it did not provide a United Methodist professor to teach UM history, doctrine, and polity.

In short, it did not meet the University Senate’s standards.

Asbury’s president David Watson told Christianity Today, “We weren’t surprised by this at all. We knew with the division of the United Methodist Church into more liberal and conservative factions that something like this would happen.”

Watson said the process began at the beginning of the year when the University Senate conducted its regular review. Asbury was not able to sign on with the new social principles.

There was no hostility, Watson said, and when Asbury was told about the cut they decided not to appeal.

And here’s the truth, mates.

Asbury College (now University) and Asbury Theological Seminary will continue on as educational institutions.

All the University Senate did was remove its endorsement. The seminary does not meet the qualifications needed to train future UM clergy, but it can train others.

President Watson knows that UM enrollment at Asbury has dropped from 32% to only about 9%, so this decision will affect very few.

And Asbury can now turn whole-heartedly toward courting the conservative off-shoot Global Methodist Church for future support.

As for all the faux social media outrage: y’all need to calm down!

It is the Captain’s hope going forward that Asbury will teach its students that 1) Jesus did not hand to Asbury the Keys to the Kingdom, and 2) that they don’t have an exclusive claim to the Holy Spirit.

The Old Testament prophet Joel (2:28) proclaimed that the day would come when God would pour out his Spirit on all flesh.

That day came in Acts chapter 2.

And we believe “all flesh” includes The United Methodist Church.

In fact, the Captain is convinced that General Conference 2024 was a Spirit-filled revival for The United Methodist Church, as delegates opened the Church once again to all people.

Asbury no longer requires the shirt and tie, but its theology continues to be much more conservative than the Captain’s.

And that’s okay.

A lot of people disagree with me.

And I with them.

And that’s okay.

 

 

 

Big Yellow Taxi

We’ll begin today’s post with a bit of vulnerability.

One summer day while in kindergarten, our neighbor (a couple years older) took his sister’s pet turtles (remember when you could buy those little turtles in pet shops?) to the alley behind his house.

As we stood around watching, he crushed all three of them with a croquet mallet.

No particular reason.

My young mind could not process the senseless violence I had just witnessed.

A few years later, while living a carefree life as a child in Dearborn, Michigan, we discovered a litter of newborn kittens in the wooded area behind our house. We implored our parents to collect them up and nurse them to health. 

We tried, but all four of the kittens died.

I was heartbroken.

Not long after, while tearing down a building [we were salvaging materials to build our own house one day], we uncovered a nest containing baby pigeons. 

I know, I know. Pigeons.

Again, I implored my father to save them.

They died anyway.

Such is my life.

Now an adult, I will slam on my brakes to keep from hitting a directionally-challenged squirrel.

I will stop to move migrating turtles out of the road.

And on rainy days I relocate earthworms from the sidewalk back to the grass.

We have a groundhog digging up the church lawn, but I have warned everyone to leave it be.

They have named it after me.

Yes, the Captain is a big softy.

But mess with someone I love – or a kitten, or a baby bird – and Hell hath no fury!

You have been warned!

Here’s more you need to know about me:

A few years ago the Captain met with an environmental awareness group.

As a way of introduction, a young man – one of the leaders of the group – shared how he first got involved in environmental concerns.

He told us the story of how his father bought and cleared a lakeside lot in an otherwise untouched area, and there he built his house.

Then as the dad reveled in his accomplishment and took in the beautiful vistas that lay before him, he decided that the lake needed to be protected from development. He worked with the local government officials and others to craft laws forbidding future development along his lakefront.

This was hailed by the son as a great environmental victory.

Perhaps it was.

The Captain saw it as a patently selfish effort by the father to protect his scenic view and to prevent others from doing what he himself had shamelessly done.

I never went back to that group.

Enter Jared and Ivanka (Trumpf) Kushner. 

You will recall that the power couple were unofficial government employees during President Trumpf’s first term in office. Ivanka bowed out for the second term, but Jared continues to pop up on the President’s international trips as an “unpaid advisor”.

These trips become golden opportunities for the young grifter to pitch self-serving investment opportunities and real estate deals on the government’s dime.

Now the two have bought a private island off the coast of Albania and are starting a massive development project there.

Here are Ivanka’s actual words:

    "I'm working on an incredible project with my husband in the Mediterranean. It's massive in scale. ... It's a wonderful, unbelievable 1,400 hectacre private island in the middle of the Mediterranean."

Now, who hasn’t dreamed of buying your own private island?

I mean, Jeffrey Epstein did.

Oops! Didn’t mean to go there.

Yes I did.

    "We were on a friend's boat, and we stopped for a swim. Effectively, that's how we found it. We swam to the island, we went on a hike, barefoot all the way up to the top, and we were just captivated, and it stayed with us ever since."

The Captain wonders how many others have experienced the same sense of wonder and awe that Ivanka did upon stepping barefoot on that virgin sand, seeing the majestic creatures that inhabit the island, the beauty of the natural flora and fauna.

And the view from the top? “Captivating!”

And who doesn’t look at such a beautiful, pristine island and say, “What this place really needs is an exclusive 10,000 bed hotel resort and marina!”

Ivanka continues:

    “Over the course of many years, we developed the opportunity to help realize its potential and transform it, but with a lot of restraint and care because the land is so beautiful that, really, the architecture has to be fully integrated into it, almost rise from it.”

They want to help this beautiful island “realize its potential”.

 

An actual architectural rendering of the development. 

Or, how about… and hear me out, Ivanka… Just leave it the hell alone!

But that is not the way of the world today, now is it?

The world according to Trumpf.

We have a President who tore off the historic East Wing of the White House to build a gaudy ballroom that only he wants and no one needs.

And no one stopped him.

We have a President who is building a “victory arch” to rival France’s Arc de Triomphe in his own honor.

And no one is stopping him.

CAPTAIN’S NOTE: France’s Arc de Triomphe was ordered built by Napoleon Bonaparte following his military victory at Austerlitz. The Arc honors those who fought and died for France during the French Revolutionary and Napoleonic Wars.

It bears the names of French victories and generals engraved on its inner and outer surfaces.

Beneath its vault lies the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier from World War I, marked by an eternal flame commemorating unidentified fallen soldiers. (Source: Wikipedia)

Where was I?

Oh yes…

We have a President who is having the bottom of the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool painted “American Flag Blue” (while not addressing the underlying plumbing issues that cause algae to grow in the body of water).

And no one is stopping him.

We have a President who is hosting a UFC Cage Match on the White House lawn as a birthday gift to himself.

And no one is stopping him.

Because when you’re rich…

And the funny thing is, he’s not paying for any of this.

We are.

That’s our tax dollars are work.

Our nation is $40 trillion in debt (25% of which was incurred during Trumpf years), he has gutted numerous social services – both national and international – and he is spending money on these vanity projects like there is no limit on our nation’s credit card!

But I digress…

Naturally, the Albanian people who once enjoyed visiting the primitive island and protected ecosystem (like Ivanka did) are upset. Barbed wire has been strung up to prevent visitors from enjoying the beaches, and the destruction “transformation” of the once “beautiful” island goes on. 

The prime minister of Albania insists this development is crucial – CRUCIAL! – for economic growth, high-end tourism, and foreign investments.

Which apparently everybody needs.

But at what cost?

The island is home to nesting sea turtles, migrating flamingos, and monk seals.

Or at least it was, until the bulldozers arrived and started pushing down trees and moving sand dunes.

Previously described as “off the grid”, it is highly unlikely and unfeasible that this monstrous project will be “integrated” into the natural beauty of the island.

They will have to have electricity.

And fresh water.  

Even food will have to be shipped in.

For 10,000 hotel rooms.

And what about waste removal?

And wastewater treatment?

Not to mention the number of people it will take to staff such a compound; where will they live?

Yes, the Captain has read Herman Wouk’s “Don’t Stop the Carnival”. 

Living on an island is not as easy as it sounds!

In the early ‘00s, the Captain and First Mate splurged on a vacation trip to Cancun.

Some friends had done it and they raved about it!

The hotel we stayed at was one of many high-rise resorts along the little tourist spit of sand off the Yucatán Peninsula. 

It should have been the perfect vacation.

The ocean was beautiful, the sand was pristine, the rum drinks were plentiful, and there was a topless beach just a stone’s throw away!

The First Mate was not as excited about that as the Captain was!

But to get to this fabulous location, the shuttle from the airport took us through one of the worst slums in Mexico. It was heart-breaking to see such poverty at the very doorstep of so much opulence and wealth.

The cold Cerveza offered by the bus driver did not help to assuage my concerns.

CAPTAIN’S NOTE: Apparently the Captain carries a high degree of angst and has a significant liver capacity.

During that vacation week we learned that the white sand beaches were “pristine” only because low-paid locals went out early in the mornings to rake up seaweed and trash that washed upon the shore.

The promise to them was that if they did a good job, they could one day move up into a low-paying job inside the hotel.

At least there it was air conditioned.

Being able to speak English was also an incentive / requisite to obtaining an inside job.

On the snorkel tour we took, we saw all kinds of beautiful fish in the clear blue water where the Gulf of Mexico meets the Caribbean Sea.

But I discovered the fish were only swimming around us because the boat guys were circling above throwing out fish food.

And while we were enjoying the beautiful scenery, they were diving for conch – their side gig.

Sell the shells to tourists, the meat to the resorts.

To be honest, all of this put a bit of a damper on the week.

At least at Disneyland I know everything is fake when I purchase the ticket.

But most of all, the Captain is not geared toward enjoying “the good life” while I know others are suffering just outside my doorstep.

The moral to today’s post is this:

If you’ve got billions of other people’s dollars at your disposal (as the Kushners do), you can buy your own private island.

You can pay off officials who will let you rape a fragile ecosystem for your own warped pleasure and enrichment.

You can build whatever you want, do whatever you want.

Did I mention Jeffrey Epstein?

But don’t try to convince me you are improving this island.

By your own words, Ivanka, it was beautiful before you got hold of it.

It’s “potential” – it’s true potential – was well-recognized by many just the way it was.

But now, it will become just another resort island among many – and there are many – catering to the wealthiest and least-caring people on our planet.

And that’s a damn shame.

Tragic even.

They take Paradise and put up a parking lot

With a pink hotel, a boutique, and a swingin’ hot spot!

-Joni Mitchell, 1970

 

CAPTAIN’S NOTE: As I finished writing this blog I read that the SPAK (Albania’s specialized anti-fraud, corruption, and organized crime unit) is looking into the Kushner development. It has frozen assets of the Qatari-owned landholding company while looking into allegedly fraudulent land titles and transfers, as well as the legislative fast-tracking of the project, especially since it is in a protected area.

Maybe money can’t buy everything.