Okay, so I was walking through the local shopping mall yesterday...
"...When what to my wondering eyes should appear..."
Seriously, it looked like Santa Claus had vomited all over the mall!
Merchants were boxing up Halloween leftovers -- candy is 30% off at Target! -- and restocking the "seasonal" shelves with Christmas merchandise.
Even Hollister & Co. was playing Christmas muzak -- with a much more contemporary sound, I'll admit, for which I give them credit. As I entered the store, the little sprite with the employee's name badge greeted me with, "What's up?"
"What's up with the Christmas muzak?" I replied.
She knew right then I was just a cranky old fart who wasn't going to buy anything in her wonderfully hip store which sells clothes that only fit 16-year-old boys and pre-pubescent girls.
I mean, really, what is a "Size 0" anyway?
Truth is, I go into Hollister & Co. to look at live scenes of Huntingdon Beach, CA, broadcast on large screens on opposite walls of the store. It's designed to make you feel like you're actually standing on the pier.
I torture myself.
I also come out smelling of their cologne, gallons of which they apparently pump throughout the store and into the mall all day long, an effort to improve the city by making it smell better.
Now I'm ready for a night out on the town!
But I am definitely not ready to face Christmas yet!!!
So it seems the "12 Days of Christmas" has become the "7 1/2 Weeks of Christmas"!
Lord, help us!