The Captain has just returned from a mid-week Bible Study.
Now, normally this group would run as high as 14 participants.
Tonight, two showed up.
Two!
I will give them the benefit of the doubt. I am not going to
be in the pulpit on Sunday morning, so they may have assumed I was
gold-bricking all week long.
Little do they know…
Had they let me know, we could have canceled the Bible study. I would have had a free evening and saved driving 34 miles round trip. I wonder if they know it costs them $17 in mileage reimbursement every time I drive out there...
So, in that frame of mind, let your dear ol’ Captain get a
few things offa his chest tonight.
X X X
In my last post you were patient as I lamented the state of
The Tiki Hut. I shared the news of the cracked engine block on social media as
well, expecting a few “sad” emojis and an occasional “Aw, that sucks!”
Which I got.
But I also got a lot of unwanted “helpful advice” from
several others.
Sure, that YouTube video on how to winterize a boat might
have come in handy five months ago, but it is not so helpful now.
Suck it!
X X X
An election is coming up later this month. And already the
Captain is sick and tired of politicians promising to cut our taxes.
We live in a state that has repeatedly robbed the state
pension fund to balance budgets, leaving those who contributed to their own
pensions hanging out to dry.
Yet one candidate was so bold as to proclaim, “No one knows how
to spend your money better than you!”
Exhibit A: A camouflage wedding ring set.
With a diamonesk stone set in platinum-plated sterling
silver.
Perhaps to compliment this wedding dress.
Here’s a thought: spend the money the Captain has already
paid in taxes appropriately.
This year it came to about 20% of my income.
Build the roads I need to drive on. Give me adequate police
and fire protection to keep me safe. Oversee business and industry in such a
way that adds value to my community and extends life to the planet. Provide
affordable health care for all. Insure the social safety net so that I don’t
have to continue handing out to those people holding cardboard signs up by
Walmart. Spend some of the billions of dollars in the “Defense” budget on
actually caring for those who made physical and mental sacrifices to defend us!
Do those things, and I’ll be willing to share even a little
more with you.
Put that money in our pockets, however, and none of that
will get done.
Truth is, I can’t afford to pave the road in front of my house. But
together, with everyone giving a little, we can make it happen.
Call it socialism if you want. Frankly, I don’t care what
you call it. It just needs to happen!
And mates, despite what the Republican Party wants you to
believe, the United States is one of the least-taxed nations in the developed
world.
X X X
Do you remember when President Bush tried to buy us off with
a $600 tax refund? It was supposed to “jump-start the economy” as everyone was
supposed to take the money and go spend it.
But most people used the money to pay off existing debt –
credit cards, car loans, etc. Money gurus have for a long time told us this was
a wise use of any extra money we could find.
As a result, the nation went deeper into debt and the
economy remained sluggish.
Now the Trumpf administration has given a deep tax cut to
rich people and to corporations – again hoping they would generously use the
billions of dollars they are being given back to stimulate the economy.
Higher wages. Create jobs.
But no. Like before, the corporations used the tax cuts to
buy back stock – essentially paying off their credit cards. Some cynically
announced bonuses for employees then closed stores and laid off thousands of
workers. One company even reportedly invested the money in automation, which
will ultimately mean mass lay-offs of their employees.
And the national debt continues to grow unchecked.
X X X
News reports this week claim that President Trumpf has been
officially nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize.
A prize whose name he doesn’t even know how to spell!
Apparently this is for his diligent work in ending the
Korean War, and for the reunification of that country.
The thing is, he didn’t do any of this.
When Trumpf took office, North Korea began threatening the
world with nuclear annihilation. Trumpf was all in for war with North Korea, bringing
the world to the brink.
Then an olive leaf was extended from the South at the Winter
Olympics. Relations mysteriously thawed. And this week the batshit-crazy North
Korean president promised to shutter his nuclear program, and he crossed the DMZ
for the first time since 1953!
And Trumpf is taking credit for it!
Sure, Trumpf is supposedly negotiating a meeting with the
North Korean president, but it hasn’t happened yet.
A more likely cause for this sudden change of heart can be
found in the recent collapse of the mountain top where North Korea was building
its nuclear arsenal. The collapse appears to have destroyed their capability to
continue their nuclear ambitions – at least for the near future – and it is the
Captain’s estimation that this above all else is why North Korea is suddenly
hoping to strike up an agreement with its longtime enemies.
But Trumpf? I would more likely give credit to Dennis
Rodman.
One more thing I haven’t heard anyone discussing about the
possible reunification of the Korean peninsula: which form of government would
be adopted for the reunified nation?
The totalitarian regime of the north? Or the more democratic
government of the south?
Why isn’t this being discussed?
X X X
Recently, a woman accused Tom Brokaw of inappropriate
behavior.
Captain’s Note:
The Captain had to add this mini-rant because you would all stop reading Banana
Winds if there wasn’t some salacious tidbit or photo of a hot chick in each
post.
She accused Tom Brokaw.
The stiff that brought you the
nightly news on NBC for 22 years!
I know, right?
Well, what did he do? Inquiring minds want to know…
Well, 20 years ago, he tried to kiss me.
…
…
Wait. What? That’s it?
And what did you do?
I pushed him away.
...
...
And so now… 20 years later… you’re claiming sexual
harassment?
And we’re supposed to care?
It’s not like he was Bill Cosby.
Captain’s Note:
Mates, I loved Bill Cosby. I was shocked… SHOCKED!... when the allegations
emerged about his long-time pattern of sexual harassment and abuse of women.
And know that I celebrated his conviction this week. Even though he’s 80 now,
he still needs to pay for what he did to those women.
Not to mention the mental and emotional abuse he caused his
wife through it all.
But “Tom Brokaw once tried to kiss me”???
Is that all you’ve got?
It was twice.
...
Ladies, lean in for a moment, would you please? The Captain
has some, er, “pirately” advice fer ye:
Should a man ever attempt to make an unwanted pass at ye,
just kick him squarely in the nuts – yep, hard enough to make him curl up in a
ball on the floor in a puddle of his own vomit.
And then walk away.
Or do what Lorena Bobbitt did after her husband raped her!
That woman is a hero in my book!
And then get on with yer life!
Don’t be draggin’ it out 20 years later and making like you
were some helpless victim! You are not a victim! Deal with yer business right
then and there, dammit!
And move on!
X X X
And finally, a note to my country friends, specifically
those who ascribe to folklore.
We had a cold, hard winter.
Cold!
Hard!
The Tiki Hut was frozen solid in Kentucky Lake for two
weeks!
But now, finally, the Captain is writing this post sitting
on the patio on one of the first warm nights in a long, long time.
And the f*****g mosquitoes and no-see-ums are everywhere!!!
What’s up with that malarkey about “We need a cold winter to
kill off the bugs?”
I say “BULLSHIT!”
Bullshit to you and your stupid folklore! That’s not
science! That’s just some bullshit somebody made up to make you feel better
about all those cold days!
I say bring on the global warming!
Maybe my ol’ Kentucky home will become oceanfront property!
And wouldn’t that be nice!
